Sorry I'm a slacker...here's a look into what's been going on...

So, I promised you all snowstorm aftermath pictures. Finally, I remembered how to download pics and am now posting them. (I seriously am completely stupid with computers. I apologize. I honestly would rather pick up my prints at Wal-Mart and hand-write you all letters. Okay, maybe not so much.)
Second, I am going to post never before seen pics of my kids so you can put a face with all my stories. And tell me how cute they are. (BTW- Yes, he has duct tape on his hand. He had a wart that we were treating. And it actually works!! Oh and he's totally eating a cookie in the other pic, so forgive the chocolate on the lip.)
Third, I went back to work last week, so I've been slacking on reading/commenting/posting lately. I suck. Oh- and to Kelly at Speaking From The Crib, I DID make an effort to listen to your last podcast. I got about 10 min. into it and had to turn it off bc I had a crying infant and a crying, whiny, almost 4 year old. You understand. But the snippets I heard were funny, and I did laugh.

I'd like to leave you with some of my son's quotes from the past couple days...

Last night, as Hubs told him to stand back while he opened the oven, my son yells "Ohhhhh it's gettin REAL now!!"

As I was putting him in the truck after daycare today, "Mom, don't strap me in yet. I want to give myself a wedgie!"

And as we were having quiet time before bed the other night he whispers "Mom, sometimes I fart during quiet time."

Of course you do son, of course you do.

I work, but am acting like a SAHM.

So when I was growing up, I had this friend (who is still my bff by the way) that I was with 24/7. I was fascinated by the way her mom, who never worked, would go spend money on frivolous things; It totally baffled me how 1. her dad apparently made a TON of money, and 2. that her mom could do this, and it was okay with her dad that her mom shopped CONSTANTLY. Okay, frivolous things is not the right phrase...example: I've been there when they've dropped about $60 on Blockbuster on 3 movies and LOADS of movie theater candy. Also in high school, said friend would bring in huge bags of candy. And give it away. Like the entire bag. To ONE person. And about 12 people would get one. I found it completely ridic.

Now, let's not mention that junior year they used my bff's college fund to pay off their debt. (That's what she tells me anyway.) And I'm pretty sure they're in credit-card debt again; bff has mentioned that her dad is starting to get frustrated with her mom about this. Understandable.

I find myself making purchases that I don't really NEED, I just want really bad, so I bring something home & quickly explain to Hubs what a great deal it was and how I'm going to use it and when...If I want to make a bigger purchase, say over $40 (I'm a cheap ass, and all my money goes to daycare & groceries, so yes, Hubs would notice pretty much any purchase I make bc I never have money!!) I always give Hubs a heads up, to tell him I want something and why, so he's not shocked when I buy it, and then give me a lecture on how our money could be better spent elsewhere. Such as: (here's to you, MODG) I told him the other day that I was so going to join Shoedazzle and explained it to him. He said "So you're going to pay $40, for a pair of shoes worth about $20 bc Kim Kardashian picked them out and you think you guys are friends now?" Yes. Exactly. Glad to see you catch on so quick. (I also strategically told him this immediately following him telling me he was buying parts to build a computer for his car. An eye for an eye, ya know?)

To wrap this up (I gotta go to work) my goal in life is to find ways to spend Hubs money and him be OKAY with it. Even encourage it. The End.

Wow. That's all I have to say; about a lot of things!

First, I am delighted that I just logged on, and had 3 whole comments to moderate! I'm stoked over 1, so you can imagine me over 3. That's a first. Thank you ladies. Apparently, every girl likes Barbies when she grows up!

Second, the snow is hammering down here in NW Ohio, and typically, I hate snow. I've hated snow my entire life. Because I've spent many hours standing in slush, waiting on the bus as a kid, or stomping through slush going to and from the car, oh yeah and shoveling my driveway as a kid with my mom, which is back-breaking labor, even when you're 8. Hell, ESPECIALLY when you're 8. But right now, this winter, I'm totally loving this. I practically can't keep my little guy inside. My in-laws live in the country and had a massive drift, about 6 ft tall that stretched all the way down & across their dr5zn it too, and I thought he was going to take a tumble, but he didn't. It's so fun to see him having so much fun. I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes, but I think it was partly because I love to see him so happy & carefree...

So today he's home with me. He's normally at pre-school today, but they are all closed. His actually didn't (yet, but they will be), but I called him in anyway. I got up at 6am to feed the baby this morning & fell asleep in the recliner & was awoken to him running in saying "Mom! It's snowing!!"

When this is all said & done, I'll post some pics of the aftermath! Happy winter storm everyone!

This is what my life has come to.

So, as my current facebook status boasts, I just saw a commercial for Dentist Barbie, and my mood instantly perked up. Forget that I spend all day watching Nickelodeon, forget that this morning on the Today show they said your waist should not measure more than 35 in., when I am currently holding a 38 (BABY 5 WEEKS AGO, LET'S NOT FORGET THAT PART), forget that I am so broke from not working in 2 months that I spend a great deal of time deciding which account I shold shuffle money from for the week. My heart broke out in song when I turned around and saw Dentist Barbie, working on her patient in a dental chair. I genuinely smiled and said "Finally! Dentist Barbie!" And my son said "Do you want that mommy? I will but it for you if you want it." and of course, I told him yes, I did. He said "Okay, me and dad will buy it for you."

He sounds so sweet, doesn't he? He puts on such a good show sometimes.

*I'm also planning an art project for the little guy this week. We're going to make daddy a valentines card, complete with glitter and glue and paints. Yeah. I'm planning this for Wednesday, and will probably blog about what a bad idea it was on Thursday.*

*While looking for a picture of Dentist Barbie, I find out there is a Dentist Barbie from 1997, that is on Amazon.com for $168.99. So I guess this wasn't some ingenius idea it took 60 years to come up with...Interesting, but pass. I'll take a new one for $20. Thanks.*

I'm still waiting for my Grammy invite. To PERFORM, that is.

First and foremost, I need to say (as I did on my current facebook status), that if I had to sit directly behind Lady Gaga at any awards show, I'd request a new seat. There is no way anyone could see what was going on over the head gear she insists on wearing all. the. time. Now, I have a new appreciation for Gaga, bc "Bad Romance" is my new fav, which also makes me rethink my opinion on "Poker Face" and "Just Dance". Ok, not "Just Dance"; that song is ridiculous in all ways imaginable. I'm sorry, but being too drunk to know where the eff you are is NOT something to sing about. But whatev, she's making millions off of it, I'm not, so who the hell am I??

Second, I was SHOCKED to learn that Bon Jovi had never played the Grammys before. This was looooonnnggggg overdue. I am also displeased that America voted for them to play "Livin on a Prayer". "Always" should've won, no questions asked. Not that I'm not a fan of Livin...I am, but I've drunk karaoked it enough times to be like Okay, I totally get it, you're living on a prayer; ENOUGH.

Third, if anyone who's anyone had seen my spectacular performance at Pierre's Nightclub on my bachelorette party, I soooo would be a star right now. In fact, my blogger profile pic is evidence of this night. I was invited onstage by the band, Jedi Mind Trip, (they're from Michigan and cover all amazing things rock. They really are a good band.) and I proceeded to steal the spotlight for the rest of the night. I've always dreamed of being a singing star since I was like 5, so this was my BIG CHANCE. With lights & microphones & fans screaming for me. And it was AWESOME. Way more awesome than Pink hanging from silks. And way more awesome than Green Day singing along with their broadway cast. Isn't that guy like 65 now anyway? Good God, I remember rocking out with my brothers to "Dookie" in like 1992.

Alas, I could've given a better show than any of 'em. Watch out Beyonce, and Taylor, you too (even though I heart you both...), your 15 minutes (okay more like 15 hours) will be UP when I come to town. Or just drunk karaoke at some "club" this summer on yet another bachelorette party------------->>>

Bodily Secretions Rule My World.

So, aside from the usual pooping issues that Hubs experiences, and aside from my own hemorroidal issues (HAS to be hemorroids, HAS TO...pregnancy does amazing things, let me tell ya) and aside from the fact my infant daughter has an ass explosion every single time she poops...even if it's like a speck of poop, it sounds like a nuclear bomb went off in there...I thought the only one that didn't have poop related issues was Austin. I was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

This poor kid (mind you, 3 1/2) had awfil diarrhea last night. Like I'm talking, he sat on the toilet for 45 mintues, whining that he wanted his daddy, sometimes crying too, and so much poop came out, it was PILED above the height of the bowl water. As well as splashed up on the sides of the bowl. I honestly don't know where he was storing all of this. But I saw that he did, in fact, eat his corn at lunch...

So we get through that, I give the him, a shower. After that, it was completely neccesary, and he later goes to bed. So at 3am, I hear crying, and I go in there assuming it's the baby. No. Iwalk in and he's standing there just inside the door crying. I ask him what's wrong, and he doesn't answer, his eyes are still closed, so I assume he's sleepwalking again. So I pick him up and take him to my bed. I lay him down, and start to get in bed too. My hand touches my pants, and they feel.....wet. So I'm like OMG did I pee my pants and not even realize it?? So I continue to feel around and my bed is dry. But I was SOAKED. So then I get smart, and I feel his pj's. Soaked. He peed on me. He peed on me, when I picked him up. So I change and go get him new clothes & come back. By now, Hubs is awake telling him it's ok. He eventually talks to me and tells me he was too scared of the dark to go to the bathroom. So he decided peeing on me was a better choice. Awesome.

Oh motherhood.

UPDATE: Bear with me. I'm attempting this adding pictures thing.

Friday Night has always been my fav....but now for different reasons...

When I was younger & cooler than I am now, Friday nights were the shizznit. I started making my Friday plans on like Wednesday. Yes, it took 2 days of planning to decide where I should get drunk & spend all my hard-earned tips from the evening of waitressing.

Now, I look forward to Friday night, bc it means that Hubs has got night shift with the baby. Might I add, the first weekend of his duties this time around, he failed miserably. On friday, I woke him up every time she cried for a bottle or diaper change. On saturday night, he at least woke up, it was just a matter of him getting out of bed in a timely fashion. Oh yeah- and he only actually got up twice, I believe. I jumped in after that and did 3 more rounds of feeding/diaper changing. So all he got was a pat on the back for keeping her alive, and I took the whole experience as a big eff you. I strongly considered revoking his parental privelages for fear of my child's well-being. But I gave him another shot.

The next weekend- MUCH BETTER. He got the most improved player award, fo sho. He even slept on the couch, and had her sleep out front in her bouncy seat (back off self-proclaimed co-sleeping experts. You all suck. And are highly annoying.) in order to help me get a full nights sleep.

So tonight, I look forward to a bed, occupied only by me. And SILENCE. And SLEEP. REAL SLEEP.