Okay so I've been totally MIA lately, I know. No reason, I'm just really lazy. This was evidenced yesterday by me not being able to take a shower until 2:30 pm when I got some towels washed & dried bc there were none. So what? Say somethin,
But I was catching up on a couple of my fav blogs, one being Two Non Blondes, who did a post inspired by my last bad date post. While reading this particular posting, I remembered yet another, that is so stupid & high schoolish, I had to share.
So let's put it out there: in high school, I was fairly popular, I was cute, not super pretty (that was a few years later...js.) I wasn't fat or even chunky, I was this tiny little thing. I still shopped in the girls dept. until I was a freshman, and only moved up to juniors bc I felt stupid. But, for whatever reason, I was everyone's "friend". That means, no boys EVER asked me out. Ever. I hardly ever had a date for a dance, and when I did, it was Sadies and I asked someone myself. I even asked a boy from another school to prom, and he told me no bc he didn't want to go to another prom. Isn't that sad? It is. Really. Wow, LAME.
Anyway, junior year homecoming. I REALLY wanted a date. like REALLY. I had gone half of my high school career, and still not been asked, ever. I HATED the weeks leading up to a dance, bc I had so much anticipation, hoping someone, ANYONE would ask me. So like 4 or 5 days before homecoming, I still had no date. And I had a pretty big circle of friends, girls & guys, and I thought for sure a couple of those guys had the potential to ask me, but ended up asking other girls. So I'm sitting in math class, and I knew that 1 boy in our little group of friends didn't have a date. Mind you, he was also the LEAST attractive one. And by least attractive, I mean he's a nice person & all, but I wouldn't touch him with a 10ft pole. He was the kid that had a rat tail when we were younger. And lots of freckles. And was pale. And super skinny. Not exactly what I was after. But I was desparate. So I'm in math class, and 2 girls were talking. These were girls in the group, but not ones I was real close to. And the one says to the other "*Johnny still needs a date. He was thinking of asking Sarah." and the other, her eyes get big, she pauses and says "Do you think she'll say yes?"
WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE? AM I THAT BIG OF A BITCH THAT 4 DAYS BEFORE THE DANCE WHEN EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM HAS A DATE, YOU THINK I'M GOING TO TURN ONE DOWN WHEN I HAVE A DRESS THAT'S BETTER THAN YOURS, AND A WRIST JUST BEGGING FOR A CORSAGE??????? I WANT TO GO TO THE DANCE TO DAMMIT AND I WILL HAVE NO ONE TO GO WITH IF RAT TAIL DOESN'T ASK ME.
Rat tail asked me. I accepted. We went to a dinner with a group of about 30 people, 15 couples. I sat by my friend, who was also on desperate date from hell. During dinner, we devised a plan.
This is where I turn bitch.
We devised a plan, that I would drive my car, with my date, and she would ride in her dates car. Follow this, people. (My date has some like rusty 1990 woody van. There was no way I was going to homecoming in that. My car was much nicer.) Anyway, we decided that at the dance she would get really, really, sick, even make herself vomit (or at least say she did), and her parents weren't home to come get her, so I had to be the one to take her home. But the guys should stay at the dance and have fun with their friends, we don't want to ruin their night.
And that's what we did.
My date didn't speak to me until graduation. And there was a lot of "Did you have fun at homecoming? My date LEFT me. It was AWESOME. Great time." being whispered at the back of english class, just within earshot...
I was a mean, mean girl I guess. Oops...