Monday, November 30, 2009

I have recovered from my Thanksgiving injuries, thank you.

Yes, I said injurieS, plural.

First and foremost, I must say, I am a huge fan of Criminal Minds, and last Wednesdays episode was UH-MAZE-ING. I dvr'd it and watched it again last night when I couldn't sleep, bc I felt like torturing myself with the intensity & agony. Good Lord. Anyone who saw it, you know what I mean. But along with it being the best episode EVA, it was also the saddest, and made me cry. Both times I watched it.

Okay, so turkey came & went like any other one would. I was pleasantly surprised when my office decided to pay out our unused vacation time-convieniently on Thursday. Wa-hoo. I had some BF shopping funds. And boy, did it come in handy! I was up at 4 am, left the house with the previous days make-up on at 4:30 (nope, I don't wash it off before bed, and I do have nice skin thank-ya-very-much) and got to the mall about 10 til 5. Met a work friend for breakfast around 6, continued on my journey and got back home around 12:30. I got everything I needed, and this is where injury #1 comes in- MY FEET WERE KILLLLLLLING ME. KILLING ME. Why I didn't wear tennis shoes, I don't know. Yes, I do. Because the 1 pair of non-work tennis shoes I own are ugly. That's why. So I chose the fashion before comfort route, and had to practically crawl into my house. Horrible. So then, I try to take a nap for the next 4 hours, of which I slept about 30 min, due to my son coming in my room every 15 min asking if I was rested yet, and could I read him this book? and oh yeah- he wants Little Bear on NOW. At one point, I had to pee, (seeing as it had been about 30 min since my last pee...a pregnant chick record!) and as I started to get out of bed, my LEGS were almost IMMOBILE they hurt so bad. Moms, back me up, when it gets late in your pregnancy, your legs, like right at your hip joint where everything attaches, start to hurt like a mo' fo' bc everything is shifting, preparing for childbirth. (Which, I've been trying to make a deal with nature, bc this is not neccessary for a woman with a scheduled c-section.) And then I walked around shopping for 8 hours...I couldn't freakin move. (Thus: Injury #2)

And injury #3 came on Saturday when I hosted the in-laws for our own TG dinner. As I was taking to rolls out of the oven, they started to slide off the pan, back into the oven, and my first thought was to grab the pan with my other hand. And then I proceeded to jump up & down from the pain of grabbing a 350 degree pan right out of the oven with my mitt-less hand. I spent the next 2 hours soaking it in cold water, which I'm pretty sure is not what you're supposed to do. But finally, I sucked it up, and allowed it to come to room temp. Today, my hand is mostly, except for a little spot on the pad of my pinky, that WILL be peeling in a few days. But at least it didn't blister. I need my hands for work. One of my college instrustors always said "Protect your hands! Your hands are your livelihood!" True dat. I have 3 weeks left of work- then will have 8 weeks of unpaid Christmas vacay & maternity leave. I need these 3 weeks!!

I apologize for my lack of commenting & posting over the holiday. I'm still trying to get caught up on normal things. After nearly DYING this weekend, and only 4 hours of sleep last night, i doubt that will happen tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Black Friday that is. Now, bc I am a part-time worker, I typically don't have a lot of money to blow. I prefer to do my shopping, a little at a time, and often. So really, the only thing left on my agenda that is a MUST DO on BF, is my BIL's GF's gift. But I've been analyzing BF ads online since Sunday night, debating what I need to waste some cash on.

I DO have 1 toy left to get for my son. That he is DYING for, and may kill me in my sleep if Santa does not bring it. Rocky the Robot Truck. Have you seen this thing? It's a dump truck that like gets up on its back wheels and sings & dances. It IS a pretty cool toy for a 3 1/2 yr old. He fell in love with this truck about 2 months ago, when something evil force within me decided it would be okay to take him to Toys R Us. (For the record, never okay. TRU should have a "parents only" rule to save us all from ever thinking it might be okay.) Well, my problem is I am cheap, and $60 is a lot for a dancing truck.

So I stop into Walmart yesterday, to see if they have it, and lo-and-behold, they have 1 left- for the low-rollback price of $40. (And I cut a $3 off coupon for this toy out of Sunday's paper. woot woot) Problem is, at this time, I have about $3 to my name. So I pray to God no noe buys it until I get paid. I get home, tell hubs about the truck and he asks me why I didn't buy it. Ummm bc I have $3 and it costs $40. So then he informs me, I could've used money from our bills only account. Well, I don't know this, bc I'm not the billpayer. I never know the balance or what needs paid when, or how much anything is...I just prefer not to be bothered by those things. So I tell hubs to stop there on his way home from class. His response is "I don't really want to." Oh well, okay then?!?!?! I'll spend 420 more on it at TRU bc you don't fell like going to pick it up. Cool.

So I got smart this morning, and called Walmart, they still have the one & only, and it's being held for me until tonight. EAT IT. IN YO FACE.

And to all mothers- or future- ALWAYS check Walmart before making any purchase at TRU. It's always cheaper. And our local TRU has the WORST MANAGER EVER. But that's a whole other post....

Oh and good luck to all the other BF shoppers. Let's all take our manners with us, umkay??

Thursday, November 19, 2009

What? You act like you've never seen anyone run over a fire hydrant before? Geez.

Let me start by saying, I have not been involved in an accident in 7 YEARS. I normally do not do stupid things (well, some may argue, but that's a different post for a rainy day...). And this particular incident, I blame on my job. If I didn't have to go to work for a stupid meeting on my day off, I would've been home and this would NOT have happened.

So. That being said...

I took Austin with me to my meeting today. He surprised the crap out of me and played quietly by himself in the playroom the whole hour I was in the meeting. The few times my child DOES behave in public, I feel deserves a reward. So I ask if he'd like to go to the mall and get a pretzel, bc he LOVES them, he thinks they are their own food group. Of course, he wants to go.

So I take him to Auntie Anne's, we eat our pretzels, I realize I have misplaced my debit card & pay with the only cash I had- babysitter money for next week. Oh well. I can go to the ATM later. If I find my card. (FYI- card later found. In my pocket. Shocking.)

I decide, this day is going too well, and I should quit while I'm ahead and go home. So we go out to the truck (I drive an SUV) and I had parked in a spot I have parked in THOUSANDS of times before. A spot that HAPPENS to have a fire hydrant in front of it, surrounded by 4 concrete poles, about 2 feet high (this is where we need to think about things, ok short poles, TALL SUV....yeah...). Now, these poles are practically falling over, bc soooooo many people have gone forward out of those spots before, and ran them over. I've SEEN ppl do it. But, I'm in mommy mode, I strap my son into his seat, get into my seat, look again for lost debit card, to no avail, and decide I can tear my purse apart at home. So I drive forward.

And I hear a crunch. And I say a little "Oh crap." I still have not remmebered that there is a FIRE HYDRANT in front of me, so I'm thinking it's just one of those little low-to-the-ground concrete blocks. And I go forward a little more. And now I can't move at all. And then...


I get out and see I have successfully ran fully over a pole, and am now resting on the fire hydrant.

Huh. What to do, what to do...I try to back up. Can't. Stuck. Well this is just great. I sit there for a good 5 minutes thinking. I call hubs TWICE at work, he's not answering. I call my brother in law, knowing he's usually at work too, and I don't really know what I expect him to do, except be near a phone book to call a tow truck. So I call him, and whadoyaknow- he took a personal day today, so he's on his way.

After about 10 minutes, I remember I have insurance (duh) and I think they might be able to do something. So I find my card & call. And lo & behold, I have roadside assistance. And they'll fully cover someone to come get me off the pole. (THATS WHAT SHE SAID!! HAHAHAHAHA) And remember, at this point, debit card is still missing, so I'd be S.O.L. if I actually had to pay anything.

So my BIL shows up, and is laughing as he gets out of his truck, and tells me that hubs called HIM about the situation (didn't call me back, don't check on your wife & child, that's fine.) and makes a few comments implying hubs may be real pissed.

To shorten up the story, tow truck comes, it takes a good HOUR to get my truck off the fire hydrant & pole...The pole was the real problem (isn't it always???) and all that was damaged was the bumper. No biggie. I don't care, I'd rather run over something dumb than actually be in a collision and be hurt. (Apparently, some ppl don't see it this way. Like Hubs.) And at LEAST 100 ppl off & on decided to gawk, stare & laugh. Keep laughing peeps, keep laughing, Karma's a BITCH. (I know her, she really is.)

Hubs had to go to class tonight, and has yet to say a WORD about the situation. So I can only assume he called his brother for the details bc he's apparently not talking to me. (Yes, he is my overgrown child.) Except, Austin did tell him, "Mommy ran over something today." and all he got was an eye-roll.

Austin did come up with a really great idea though...

"Mom? Let's not tell Daddy the bad story. Let's just get a new car. I don't like this truck anyway. I like brown. It's my favorite."

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

You've GOT to be kidding me...

This is what I said to myself, when I put my child in timeout, heard him throw something that sounded like his potty being thrown across his room, and walked in and saw poop all over the carpet, and the potty flipped upside down on the floor. Covered in poop & pee.

Why am I even surprised anymore? Oh wait, I really wasn't. Should've made the time to empty that this morning...

This led to 45 minutes of more screaming & crying, butt spankings, and a full-on meltdown.

And stopped. Suddenly, the demons left his body (I swear I even saw them exit through his ears and float away like dust in the wind...okay maybe not. but still.) and he transformed into my sweet, darling little boy again.

And all because Little Bear said it was opposite day, and he heard Father Bear say "Have a terrible night!" which he found HILARIOUS.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Apparently, no one likes my opinion. Anywho...

So no one decided to comment on my last 2 posts. Whatev. That's cool. I'll remember that.

So I feel the need to do a little bit o' bitchin today. I don't normally complain about work or patients (well, not publicly...) but today I had one man that really irked me.

I had a 4 year old boy, which, mind you, 4 yr olds are hit & miss anyway. Some are awesome, some are horrid, some are just confused, some are lost in the cartoons on the tv in the corner of my room...This particular 4 yr old, was confused. And rightfully so!! First, he was EXCITED to come back with me, which is USUALLY an indicator to overbearing parents to stay out in the lobby-where they belong (bc they tend to complicate things. Keep reading for case & point.) But this mom, (who was missing more teeth than she actually had) also brought along HER father (and does everytime, as noted in said child's chart), and they both JUMP up, and grandpa says "Oh I want to see how he does!" Okay, fine. If you really want to be proud & see him do great, fine. Come on back. So as I walk up to mom, to say hi, and ask if she has any concerns with little nugget, she says
"What are you having?"
I, taken aback, bc I hadn't even said hi yet say "Oh....Um...a girl." (I don't mind sharing personal info, but only with people with decent teeth.)
"Oh, see? I told you so! I can tell its a girl by how shes carrying. Look at her, I told you it's a girl. I wish I had a girl."

While I did not say this, I was THINKING 'Why would you wish such awful things upon innocent children?'

I digress.

So little nugget, who was very cute btw, (and had good teeth, shockingly, bc his mother can't even take of hers...) was being good, and said he would try to take pictures of his teeth (xrays). So I ask mom & grandpa to leave the room (BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL FOR ANYONE OTHER THAN THE PATIENT TO BE IN THE ROOM DURING XRAYS. THE BUTTON IS EVEN OUTSIDE. MOST PEOPLE KOW THIS.) They go out, reluctantly, and the real problems begin...

I'm talking to little nugget-
"Okay, I need you to bite down on this and then hold real still. Don't move at all."
Child bites and sits still.
Grandpa pipes up-
"Keep biting down! Just keep biting down!"
And child begins GNAWING on the film, bc he took grandpa's instructions to mean repeatedly bite down. And basically eat the film. This is why parents/gp's are NO.HELP.WHATSOEVER.
So I finally get the kid to stop eating the film. Then right as I run out to push the button, he moves his head. So I go back in to correct his head position, which is normally not a big deal, easily fixed.
Except for grandpa decides to run back into the room-ahead of me even. And starts moving the kids head around and missing with my xray equipment. So I say-
"I need you to be in the hall while I do this."
"Okay I know, I will in just a minute."
No. That is not how it works bucko. I am the professional here, I went to college to have the privelage of positoning heads correctly and messing around with extremely expensive xray equipment. Not you. So by this point I am extremely aggrevated, and I say (very firmly)...

"No. You need to go out there. You cannot be in here, it is illegal."

And ol' pappy puts his hands up, like he was surrenduring to me, and left. And guess what? I couldn't get any xrays to turn out bc the poor kid by the end of this didn't know up from down. Shocking.

Agh. And the rest of the appointment, they continue to talk for this poor child, who clearly can speak for himself, if given the chance...and then start asking me more questions about my baby and my due date, and-get this- when they think I will go into labor.

Geeeeeeeezzzzzzz people. I don't know you. I don't care when YOUR birthday is, when your MOM'S is, when your UNCLE'S is, and how much it would SUCK to be a Christmas baby, but how awesome it would be to be the New Years baby. Obviously, I didn't tell them I have a c/s scheduled for Dec 31st, they'd prolly want to come visit. They clearly wanted to talk details. None 'yo. (None yo bid-nazz, that is...)

Friday, November 13, 2009

My Philosophies....(I'm not sure I can even spell that word...)

Just to put a FEW things out there to vent...bc I get sooooooo tired of stupid people and ignorant comments. And I keep my mouth shut bc I hear soooooo many people with false info, that it drives. me. inSANE.

Here we go:

1. I'm getting the H1N1 vaccine for myself & the fam. I highly doubt we will grow extra limbs, or become any more mentally challenged than we already are. Sorry folks, I'm pregnant, and not looking forward to DEATH by SWINE FLU. "Oh who knows if it's safe? blah blah blah...I have my thumb up my ass...blah blah blah...." THE FDA WOULDN'T APPROVE IT IF IT WASN'T. Get over yourselves.


3. Local issue: casinos in Ohio. Bring 'em on. I honestly heard someone say "The only jobs it will create is for those who build it." REALLY??? THEY'RE GOING TO BUILD MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CASINOS AND THEN THEY SIT EMPTY? No, jackass, people will WORK there. LOTS of people.

4. I am pregnant, and I still drink regular pepsi and eat kids cereals full of sugar, always have, always will. My first child came out fine, and I'm pretty sure this one will too. Back off bitches. I don't talk to my belly, I don't play it music, I don't sit around and encourage the fam to give it kisses, I don't feel it's neccesary. Oh yeah and I don't breastfeed either. Get over it. Above said child is fine. I wasn't breastfed. I'm healthy. I seriously do NOT believe it makes your child better/smarter/faster than mine. And I ALSO bonded with my son JUST FINE without it.

5. And suck on this- I also asked my OBGYN to have the nurses clean my newborn son before I held him. Sorry, I don't want bloody, other-bodily-fluid- covered baby THROWN at my face. I just don't. And yet, I still bonded with my baby. WEIRD. And I plan on doing the same thing again.

And no, I did not have a bad day. It just occured to me that I should probably vent this on my blog to people I do not see in my "real" life, bc like I said, I keep my mouth shut as to avoid confrontation about certain issues.

So I wish all of you a sun-shiney weekend, from my liberal, formula feedin', clean baby holdin', casino workin', Obama votin', H1NI avoidin', pregnant self.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Big Green Tractor is in the shop...

Soooooo the CMA's were last night. I love all kinds of music, but I really love new country. Carrie Underwood rocks my world. (And my husbands dreams from what he tells me.) So I watch all this stuff, and then for about the next week, I am a country superstar (at least in the shower I am.)
My son is obsessed with "Big Green Tractor" by Jason Aldean, bc my son is obsessed with farms & farm equipment. (We live in Ohio, can ya tell?) So I tell him he can stay up & watch to see if we hear that song sung. Well, he didn't make it that long, bc he likes to use my pregnant belly as a trampoline, so he got bansihed to bed.
So when Jason Aldean finally comes on to sing the song, I'm yelling at my hubs "Hit record! NOW! NOW! HURRY!" so that my tractor lovin son can watch it the next day. So he records it- and then don't ya know, HE ACCIDENTLY DELETES IT!!!! I was more infuriated than I was when said tractor lovin son repeatedly called me a baby & told me he didn't like me...
Hubs yells

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!!" realizing what he's done. To which I respond...

"You deleted it, DIDN'T YOU?? WAY TO FUCKING GO!!" (In mind, I also called him father of the year, but had already surprised myself my how angry I already sounded, so I quickly decided to discontinue use of my vocal cords...)

So hubs tries to recover the deleted performance for the 10 min to no avail. So I figured I could look it up on You Tube for tractor lovin son today...

Which I would do, but currently tractor lovin son has opened a bottle of baby lotion and is spreading about half of it all over his Batman castle-batcave-thing. So I probably should go clean that up now.

UPDATE: I just realized my following has nearly DOUBLED this week to 7. woohoo!! this truly makes me happy, and maybe next week, i'll hit double digits. tell your friends ladies, what they're missin'. so thank you, other sleep-deprived moms on the quest for 5 MINUTES to take a nap...and if you aren't yet a mom, thank you for getting enjoyment from my everyday pains.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Who wants more ice cream???

I love my child. Currently, I am listening to him scream & beat the walls bc he's pissed I won't give him more ice cream.

If this shit doesn't put me into early labor, I don't what will.

I tell myself about 7,495 times a day, that he is just a 3 1/2 year old, he doesn't know how to express his feelings. Other than screaming at decibels only dogs can hear (and neighbors) and putting holes in the walls. We all feel like that sometime. I can't really BLAME him. Sometimes I want to scream and throw things, but I don't bc I am an adult.


But him screaming & throwing shit, makes me want to scream & throw shit. And let go of a whole slew of profanities that would make HBO offended.

I had all these plans to re-do his room, to make it more gender neutral (as he will be sharing with his soon-to-be baby sister), but decided against it once I realized that ink pen just will not wash off, and seeing as his crayons & markers got thrown away about a week ago, bc I told him to pick them up and he instantly ran over to draw an orange line on the wall...painting right now just wouldn't be smart. Neither would be getting new carpet, with at least 2 daily spills of food/drink.

On the up-side, he has officially stopped using his bedroom floor as a urinal. I told my hubby to put the small potty back in psychotic 3 year olds room, to which I received an eyeroll and a "Agh, Sarah. Whatever.", which I responded "Well, taking it out obviously has not taught him to come out of his room when he wakes up and go to the bathroom, and you are not the one 7 months pregnant, on your hands & knees scrubbing piss out of the carpet or washing sheets at least every OTHER day, so really, you just need to go downstairs and get the potty and put it back, umkay?"

So for the first time in MONTHS, I changed demon childs sheets, NOT bc they were covered in pee, but bc they had been on his bed for a whole week. Maybe a little longer. Just thought I'd freshen his little bed up...and I didn't mind that so much!