What? You act like you've never seen anyone run over a fire hydrant before? Geez.

Let me start by saying, I have not been involved in an accident in 7 YEARS. I normally do not do stupid things (well, some may argue, but that's a different post for a rainy day...). And this particular incident, I blame on my job. If I didn't have to go to work for a stupid meeting on my day off, I would've been home and this would NOT have happened.

So. That being said...

I took Austin with me to my meeting today. He surprised the crap out of me and played quietly by himself in the playroom the whole hour I was in the meeting. The few times my child DOES behave in public, I feel deserves a reward. So I ask if he'd like to go to the mall and get a pretzel, bc he LOVES them, he thinks they are their own food group. Of course, he wants to go.

So I take him to Auntie Anne's, we eat our pretzels, I realize I have misplaced my debit card & pay with the only cash I had- babysitter money for next week. Oh well. I can go to the ATM later. If I find my card. (FYI- card later found. In my pocket. Shocking.)

I decide, this day is going too well, and I should quit while I'm ahead and go home. So we go out to the truck (I drive an SUV) and I had parked in a spot I have parked in THOUSANDS of times before. A spot that HAPPENS to have a fire hydrant in front of it, surrounded by 4 concrete poles, about 2 feet high (this is where we need to think about things, ok short poles, TALL SUV....yeah...). Now, these poles are practically falling over, bc soooooo many people have gone forward out of those spots before, and ran them over. I've SEEN ppl do it. But, I'm in mommy mode, I strap my son into his seat, get into my seat, look again for lost debit card, to no avail, and decide I can tear my purse apart at home. So I drive forward.

And I hear a crunch. And I say a little "Oh crap." I still have not remmebered that there is a FIRE HYDRANT in front of me, so I'm thinking it's just one of those little low-to-the-ground concrete blocks. And I go forward a little more. And now I can't move at all. And then...

"OH SHIT THOSE POLES!!!"

I get out and see I have successfully ran fully over a pole, and am now resting on the fire hydrant.

Huh. What to do, what to do...I try to back up. Can't. Stuck. Well this is just great. I sit there for a good 5 minutes thinking. I call hubs TWICE at work, he's not answering. I call my brother in law, knowing he's usually at work too, and I don't really know what I expect him to do, except be near a phone book to call a tow truck. So I call him, and whadoyaknow- he took a personal day today, so he's on his way.

After about 10 minutes, I remember I have insurance (duh) and I think they might be able to do something. So I find my card & call. And lo & behold, I have roadside assistance. And they'll fully cover someone to come get me off the pole. (THATS WHAT SHE SAID!! HAHAHAHAHA) And remember, at this point, debit card is still missing, so I'd be S.O.L. if I actually had to pay anything.

So my BIL shows up, and is laughing as he gets out of his truck, and tells me that hubs called HIM about the situation (didn't call me back, don't check on your wife & child, that's fine.) and makes a few comments implying hubs may be real pissed.

To shorten up the story, tow truck comes, it takes a good HOUR to get my truck off the fire hydrant & pole...The pole was the real problem (isn't it always???) and all that was damaged was the bumper. No biggie. I don't care, I'd rather run over something dumb than actually be in a collision and be hurt. (Apparently, some ppl don't see it this way. Like Hubs.) And at LEAST 100 ppl off & on decided to gawk, stare & laugh. Keep laughing peeps, keep laughing, Karma's a BITCH. (I know her, she really is.)

Hubs had to go to class tonight, and has yet to say a WORD about the situation. So I can only assume he called his brother for the details bc he's apparently not talking to me. (Yes, he is my overgrown child.) Except, Austin did tell him, "Mommy ran over something today." and all he got was an eye-roll.

Austin did come up with a really great idea though...

"Mom? Let's not tell Daddy the bad story. Let's just get a new car. I don't like this truck anyway. I like brown. It's my favorite."