Thursday, December 23, 2010

This is my official Holiday Post. Gingerbread tastes like shit.

With the holidays rapidly approaching, I figured it was time for a new post. I'm a blogging slacker anymore. Mostly because I can't think of a title. (As evidenced above.)

I've been stressing. Not about the holidays, about life in general again. Involving work and money. While I really enjoy money, I do not enjoy the act of working, nor do I enjoy working and still having no money. How the hell does that happen??

Once again the holidays have snuck up on me. I kept putting off getting my official Christmas shirts to see Santa, something I do every single year, and now it is too late and we will be sporting whatever red shirts I find in the closet. Christmas-1. Mommy-0.

So I made gingerbread men with my son the other night, just to partake in a holiday tradition. While I was stirring up the dough, I was already about to vom. It smells horrendous. Like, really, REALLY bad. But I can honestly say I've had really good gingerbread before, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I set up a section of the counter with all different icings & sprinkles so that my son could decorate until his little hearts content. What did we end up with you ask? Gingerbread men with sad faces made of red hots. Yes, he gave them sad faces. Isn't that so sad?? Whatev. They tasted liked shit anyway, so they're totally just to look at. We're re-doing the cookie thing tonight with no-fail sugar cookies. But I can get kinda crazy when it comes to baking, like, I MUST bake to perfection. I MUST decorate to perfection. It's my thing. So it takes a LOT for me to let my kid have a little fun in the kitchen around the holidays, bc I truly want my baked goods to look better & taste better than everyone else's. I'm competitive with my cookies & cakes. I made some reindeer face cookies for his preschool party last week (my favorite place to show off my 4 year olds...)and I sent a pic to my bff's phone, and when I got the response "God damn fuckin Betty Crocker", I knew I did good. "Martha Stewart" is also an acceptable comparison.

Merry Christmas to you & yours, from me & mine. :)

                                                                Merry effing Christmas.

                                             Just kidding....there ya go. Some happy faces.

Friday, December 3, 2010

No matter your age or marital status, no one wants to be seen buying a pregnancy test.

So my husband told me months ago, that pills are NOT the best form of birth control for me, bc I can't remember SHIT. I can't. But I really wanted to try. Bc I had previously used the ring, which hurt my vag pretty bad, not gonna lie, and the stupid shot made me gain a good 15 lbs. Not fair. To hurt my vag therefore ruin the "sex life", or be fat, or hope to remember pills??? I'm gonna pick hope to remember pills.

Well I did NOT remember a couple of those pills, hence going to buy a pregnancy test. I held it in my left hand so people would see my diamond as I clutched that box, and of course I stopped along the way for decoy items. Kids toothpaste & CARS body wash. I'm such a mom. And OF COURSE, I've NEVER seen a line at the self scan until I need to DISCREETLY BUY A  PREGNANCY TEST. It;s not so discreet when I'm standing in line in the middle of the people packed isle.

FYI-Test #1 was neg. Test #2 comes in the morning.

UPDATE: Saving test #2 for next month. Started. lol At exactly 4:30 am. How do I know this? Let me tell you the timeline of my night: 9:45pm- go to bed. 11:00-baby wakes up crying, hubs brings her into our bed bc it's one of THOSE nights. 12:00am-wake up & vomit bc of nasty pizza for dinner. yay. 12:30-more baby crying. 4:00-son comes into our room crying bc he wants his blanket, that we could not find anywhere before bed. 4:30-baby crys some more. 4:31-monthly visitor arrives. slight feeling of sadness. 4:34-hubs gives baby a bottle & had a great idea to chekc under ottoman for said blanket. Blanket is found. 4:45- son starts puking due to nasty pizza as well. 5:30-son still puking. 6:30- still puking. 6:45- get up to work my first saturday on a new schedule. 7:15-leave for work. come home at 12:15, let myself off early bc we had a familt thanksgiving at 1:30. son is still puking. ;( and mommy is EXHAUSTEEDDDDDDDDDD.