...make some lemonade.
...OR JUST GO THE FUCK OFF.
Hello pleasant MNAN readers. All 3 of you. I'm here today to discuss something I'm officially calling bullshit on.
I am a good person. I am. Sometimes I say the F word a lot, and often times I speak about people in ways I would never really say to their face. But generally, I am good. I heart my family, I work hard, and I've worked hard to get this family to where we are. I have a lot of pride, though we still go without most all of our wants in life at this point. Here's why I'm pissed today:
I'm pissed bc I've been out of school for over 2 years now and still have yet to secure full time employment. I'm pissed bc I've spent hundreds of dollars on stamps to mail out resumes, knowing full well that no one is hiring, but someday they might, and appreciate my persistence. I'm pissed bc in college they tell you a bunch of shit about how you're bettering yourself, and you will just love your profession, and this is the best thing you've ever done in your whole entire life. I'm pissed bc I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm pissed bc everytime I feel like I catch a much-deserved break, I get slapped in the face.
Without going into too much detail, I have been blessed enough to qualify for unemployment benefits. I got an e-mail today that I may lose them for reasons that are entirely, 100% not my fault. The system needs to change, that's the bottom line. And I have a great feeling I'm going to get screwed in the process. Bc I told the truth. However, if I was a liar and could do that not feel guilty, I'd be just fine. Isn't that GRAND?????
I'm pissed at my former employer who has PROMISED I will receive my job back in due time, but yet again, when a full time person quit, the position was not even offered to me and someone else has the job, when I've got 2 years and literally blood, sweat and tears into that place. And they can STILL tell me that they love me, and want me to be there & keep me employed. Really? Bc you sure as hell don't act like it. I'm sick of people being hired over me. So sick of it. Even if I did go back, at this point I'm so pissed, they'd probably start disliking me pretty fast. I'm pissed bc my other job as well is a dead end.
So how long do I have to wait for a full time position? How long? I would just go back to school now, but I have a ton of student loans out there that I haven't even begun to pay back. Otherwise I'd do something else in a heartbeat. It kills me, that something I worked so hard for has failed me. It's failed me for over 2 years now. My only hope, is there is a chain dental office being constructed in town now, and I pray to God I can get in there. In my head, I'm already hired. I try to positive all the time, I keep telling myself that what's meant to be will be, but how long will it take? How long does my family have to live paycheck to paycheck? This is just ridiculous. I never do anything for myself, everything I do, I do for my kids, and I haven't even bought their fall clothes yet bc we've been trying to get back on our feet since my initial lay-off, and I swear, like we finally got there this week. We got caught u[p on everything, paid bills a month ahead like we usually do, I did do a little shopping for the baby & got halloween costumes, we went to an amusement park last weekend, going to a football game this weekend, things have been looking up. And his whole unemployment thing has screwed me again.
Sorry for the vent, I'm just so irritated now. One of these days I'll have something happy & funny to post about again, I promise.