I'm still waiting for my Grammy invite. To PERFORM, that is.

First and foremost, I need to say (as I did on my current facebook status), that if I had to sit directly behind Lady Gaga at any awards show, I'd request a new seat. There is no way anyone could see what was going on over the head gear she insists on wearing all. the. time. Now, I have a new appreciation for Gaga, bc "Bad Romance" is my new fav, which also makes me rethink my opinion on "Poker Face" and "Just Dance". Ok, not "Just Dance"; that song is ridiculous in all ways imaginable. I'm sorry, but being too drunk to know where the eff you are is NOT something to sing about. But whatev, she's making millions off of it, I'm not, so who the hell am I??

Second, I was SHOCKED to learn that Bon Jovi had never played the Grammys before. This was looooonnnggggg overdue. I am also displeased that America voted for them to play "Livin on a Prayer". "Always" should've won, no questions asked. Not that I'm not a fan of Livin...I am, but I've drunk karaoked it enough times to be like Okay, I totally get it, you're living on a prayer; ENOUGH.

Third, if anyone who's anyone had seen my spectacular performance at Pierre's Nightclub on my bachelorette party, I soooo would be a star right now. In fact, my blogger profile pic is evidence of this night. I was invited onstage by the band, Jedi Mind Trip, (they're from Michigan and cover all amazing things rock. They really are a good band.) and I proceeded to steal the spotlight for the rest of the night. I've always dreamed of being a singing star since I was like 5, so this was my BIG CHANCE. With lights & microphones & fans screaming for me. And it was AWESOME. Way more awesome than Pink hanging from silks. And way more awesome than Green Day singing along with their broadway cast. Isn't that guy like 65 now anyway? Good God, I remember rocking out with my brothers to "Dookie" in like 1992.

Alas, I could've given a better show than any of 'em. Watch out Beyonce, and Taylor, you too (even though I heart you both...), your 15 minutes (okay more like 15 hours) will be UP when I come to town. Or just drunk karaoke at some "club" this summer on yet another bachelorette party------------->>>