Friday, June 4, 2010

I'm irritated. Like a diaper rash.

There are so many little things bothering me, I don't know where to begin. When I feel like I need to vent, or talk about things, I typically do so to a friend. Sometimes I feel like I have diarrhea of the mouth. I feel like sometimes I give a little too much information, about things such as my finances, the usual source of irritation, or somehow related; but I really can't explain my frustration without those details. Sigh.

So what am I so irritated about? Finances. Work. The usual. The go hand in hand. See, most people that work are like OMG, I am so glad I have a day off! I'm like why the eff am I off? I need to work. And you know, I really don't get too stressed about money anymore- my needs are met, at one point in time (before kids & hubs) my needs were NOT being met, and I was very reliant on my dad for awhile. I stressed myself sick. I lost a ton of weight, was told I was too skinny a few times (maybe not such a bad idea, ay??) and I just cried a lot. Life was not how I pictured it. The grass is always greener, right? But NOW, I went to college, have great family, Hubs & I DO have really good jobs, but I feel like we're ALWAYS either reaching so hard to keep it altogether, or we are thisclose to any idea of financial freedom, and then shit happens and we're back to square one. We've worked so hard to get to where we are, and my GOD we have come a long, long, loooooooonnnngggggggg LONG way. Our bills are always paid on time (except when Hubs forgets bc he does that sometimes....grrrrrrr) but we haven't gotten to where our WANTS are bring met.

Ok, so I've made 2 shoedazzle purchases this year. Whoop-de-doo. I've bought 2 new shirts this year. Exciting. Still haven't gotten new jeans. Still wearing the ones I wore before pregnancy. And wore them through my entire pregnancy too, so they're pretty flattering at this point. Did I mention I've gained 20lbs, so nothing even fits me? I'm a hot mess. And I would like to say, that I do not mean to complain; I am so thankful everyday for what we CAN do. Is it selfish of me to want more? We deserve it. We deserve buying some things here & there. We deserve that family vacation. We deserve to go to the movies if we want to, go out to eat if we want to, take the kids to the zoo without planning it for 2-3 months. Know what I mean? It's just frustrating sometimes.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Now, more importantly, Hubs has to go on a bachelor party tomorrow. Which means he will be useless to me all weekend. Awesome.

1 comment:

  1. I feel ya. It always seems like something comes up to drain the bank account. No shame in venting!