A Plea to my Unborn Child...

First, let me briefly explain that my first birthing experience was semi-traumatic. I was induced the day before my due date, went through almost 12 hours of labor (and had a horrible reaction to the epidural in the process), and after an hour & 15 min of pushing, he just would not come out. So on we went to the OR, where I had an emergency c-section. Woohoo.

For these reasons, I chose to just schedule my c-section this time because I just don't feel the need to go through all of that again. Okay, I get the idea, once was enough. So I decided to make my life as easy as possible this time. I am scheduled to go in at 9am on Dec. 31st.

So I go to the Dr today, and she does my exam, looks at me questioningly and says

"Are you contracting?"

"Um no. And I'm really trying to avoid it..."

"Well, if you do, call us right away so we can do your c/s that day. You're 1 cm dilated, and your cervix is pretty soft. I'm not too concerned, but you may go into labor."

"I better frickin' not..."

And to myself, I am thinking, it would be my f-ing luck, Christmas Day or some shit...

So this is my plea to my fetus:

Dear daughter,
You and I will have plenty of years ahead of us to not get along. Please do not start now. That'd be great. Stay cookin'. Thanks.
Love, Your haggard mother