So I just did something, that had you told me 10 years ago as I filled out my "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" paper in high school, I would've never thought to write down.
I am home alone with my lovely offspring, whom, tonight, has mixed up his indoor & outdoor voices and feels he must SCREAM.EVERY.LAST.WORD. and in my
(I just stopped mid-type bc said offspring just decided to pour his cup of green kool-aid onto the carpet, to which I looked up to heaven, raise my hands and sang "Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!", hoping that Jesus himself would keep me from flipping the eff out.)
...lost my train of thought...
Oh yes. In my attempt to save my sanity, I decided I MUST have a fudgesicle. But how, do I accomplish this, seeing as I already gave 1 to darling offspring 2 hours ago? How will I EVER pull off eating this treat without more screaming???
I hid & locked myself in the bathroom. There I sat. On the toilet (and yes, i figured might as well pee since I'm in there.) I sat, pants down, eating a fudgesicle. AND texted hubs at the same time to tell him exactly what I was doing, and promising I WOULD send a picture, but do not trust that he wouldn't show it to his class full of electricians.
So here's to you, Cheif. My (Hiding from the Kids) moment. Of the day.
Oh shit, I just ripped the armpit hole of my t-shirt even bigger as I scratched an itch just then. (What will I do when my fav. college t-shirt is unwearable???)
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did I spell "Cheif" wrong? I don't frickin know....I've lost it tonight.
ReplyDeletelmdao! Im telling you that you have become me. I have spent many nights in the bathroom with quarts of ice cream.
ReplyDeleteI am sure I have pooped and peed and plucked and shaved in the midst of devouring ridiculous amounts of calories!
Good for you!
We are soul sistrs for real!!
ReplyDeletehugs hugs.
yes you did spell chief wrong - but it's ok. you can't do all that crap AND spell stuff right too
ReplyDeletei before e, except after c (or when sounding like A as in neighbor and weigh)
ReplyDeleteGod. I suck. I remember ALL of the grammar jingles. Wanna know what REALLY irks me? When people spell the word "weird" incorrectly. As in "Wierd." Which is, well, just weird.
I have DEFINITELY eaten goodies on the toilet. It's called MULTI-TASKING. We women rock at it.
I remember the i before e except after c thing....but i don't think i ever really knew the second half of that....lol i started questioning the i before e rule when i realized that "their" is really spelled "thier"...i guess. who frickin cares anyway?? i got through college!!! lol
ReplyDeletelove this:
ReplyDeleteI sat, pants down, eating a fudgesicle
no such thing as unwearable.
ReplyDelete