Let's get perky!

Ok, so my Debbie Downer moments are D-O-N-E. I am contemplating taking a new direction in my life. For a long time, I have always known that my career as a RDH would not always be my career. I just don't see myself doing it forever. Never really have. Unfortunately, that also means I am stuck, bc there's else I can go to school for around here, without uprooting the fam, where I'd make as much, or more, money. So I've been thinking of other avenues to explore for my future.
Where's my head at now? Photography. Why? Bc it's cool, and I love seeing other people's professional images. And bc I was in a wedding this past weekend, where the photographers had none of their own creative ideas, and I chimed in for a few of them. (Hopefully, they come out good! Haven't seen 'em yet!) Other bridesmaids had ideas as well.

Anyway, I think it's something I could learn. And the initial investment seems it could be pretty low. Just camera & equipment. I could practice on my own kids, family, friends & their families...Just something fun I can do for awhile until I really start to learn some things & eventually take it futher...What do ya'll think?
So the first thing I need, is a good camera. I currently have a $200 point & shoot Olympus, that serves it's purpose, but clearly is a college camera & doesn't take professional quality photographs. Anyone have any recommendations for a good, beginner camera, preferably around $500, give or take???

With that, I'll leave you all with one of the most iconic images of the 1900's, btw, the nurse in this picture passed away this past week.

What a week...

Well loyal followers, I have much sad news to report.

I have blogged before about my somewhat turbulent relationship with my kitty, KitKat. Things had been pretty good with KitKat lately, he's been playing outside a lot, we've been giving him more attention...he's just been a happy cat lately. Unfortunately, KitKat was hit by a car Tuesday, in front of our house. I was not home, with friends planning a bridal shower, but my hubs heard a loud thunk, he thought it was thunder & looked outside. I'll spare you the details, but KitKat is no longer with us, and it makes me sad to say that he suffered; he did not die right away, and I so wish he would have. It's so weird not having him here. We told our son, and he took it well, just asked a lot of questions, and is occasionally saying that he misses him & he dreamed about him last night. I was downstairs doing laundry yesterday, and I turned around to go fill up his food bowl. And it was still full. I think I see him out of the corner of my eye sometimes. I open the back door, and expect him to run out...it will take some getting used to. Someday maybe we will get a new cat, but I worry that I'd never find one that put up with my kids! Austin would hit, kick, pull, punch, and KitKat would just sit there & take it. I can't believe he never bit him or anything, bc he probably should have. lol So RIP KitKat, we will miss you & never forget you!
The next morning, Brynn woke up at 5am and screamed her face off until 7:30. I was so tired, and upset that I've done everything I can for her, and still here we are...I cried with her for awhile.
And then shortly after she settled down, my boss called and my hours at 1 job were drastically reduced (initially it was "laid off" but I think I can get 1 day a week in) for the next 3 weeks or so, while we wait on another doctor to join our practice. I am not the only one this happened to, and honestly, from what I've heard I got a pretty good deal, bc at least I know I will get my hours back soon. I freaked out at first, and cried some more, but I actually thought about it, and I really don't have a reason to worry. I'll be saving a ton on daycare, which will help get us through. So I'm okay with that.

When it rains, it pours, I guess. Or around here, it makes tornados. lol We've had like 3 or 4 tornados these past few weeks. Crazy. Enjoy your weekends everyone! Gotta go!

Kim, you're as good as dead to me.

All I have to say, is I've REALLY REALLY REALLY been trying to see the bright side of the past 3 months of horrific Shoedazzle selections. Really. I just know in my heart that someday, Kim will see the light and send me some good shoes. The first 2 months, it was HARD to make a decision. Now, there's like no decision involved, I know I'm going to hit that little skip button & pray for better.
And this is the shit she sends me:Okay so this is not too bad, but I'm pretty sure I can find it hanging by the purses at JCPenney's for $12.99. So no.
And these are the ones of which we do not even speak:(I'm not even sure what this one is actually. But I'm pretty sure it involved killing nultiple animals.)
(Why yes, I visit the indian reservations quite frequently! Where's my turquoise owl necklace at???)

(This looks like the snake died trying to suffocate my ankle. And is therefore creepy. Sorry for all the parentheses, not really sure why I keep putting them...)

(Could've been a winner-IF IT WAS AVAILABLE IN MY SIZE!!! WHAT THE EFF KIM!!!)

Okay really now, I'm effing pissed. EFFING PISSED. Who would actually be caught dead in this crap? And now that my blood is starting to boil, I probably really would've bought that last pair. Why the hell would I get options that aren't available? That doesn't even make sense. I know I've done some ShoeFab bashing, but you know what?? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I may just join 'em, bc obviously Kim is failing me miserably. I can't imagine that anyone could possibly have gotten uglier choices then I this month. If you did, I feel terribly sorry for you, but please link me up to your choices bc MINE SUCKED. THE END.

I'm irritated. Like a diaper rash.

There are so many little things bothering me, I don't know where to begin. When I feel like I need to vent, or talk about things, I typically do so to a friend. Sometimes I feel like I have diarrhea of the mouth. I feel like sometimes I give a little too much information, about things such as my finances, the usual source of irritation, or somehow related; but I really can't explain my frustration without those details. Sigh.

So what am I so irritated about? Finances. Work. The usual. The go hand in hand. See, most people that work are like OMG, I am so glad I have a day off! I'm like why the eff am I off? I need to work. And you know, I really don't get too stressed about money anymore- my needs are met, at one point in time (before kids & hubs) my needs were NOT being met, and I was very reliant on my dad for awhile. I stressed myself sick. I lost a ton of weight, was told I was too skinny a few times (maybe not such a bad idea, ay??) and I just cried a lot. Life was not how I pictured it. The grass is always greener, right? But NOW, I went to college, have great family, Hubs & I DO have really good jobs, but I feel like we're ALWAYS either reaching so hard to keep it altogether, or we are thisclose to any idea of financial freedom, and then shit happens and we're back to square one. We've worked so hard to get to where we are, and my GOD we have come a long, long, loooooooonnnngggggggg LONG way. Our bills are always paid on time (except when Hubs forgets bc he does that sometimes....grrrrrrr) but we haven't gotten to where our WANTS are bring met.

Ok, so I've made 2 shoedazzle purchases this year. Whoop-de-doo. I've bought 2 new shirts this year. Exciting. Still haven't gotten new jeans. Still wearing the ones I wore before pregnancy. And wore them through my entire pregnancy too, so they're pretty flattering at this point. Did I mention I've gained 20lbs, so nothing even fits me? I'm a hot mess. And I would like to say, that I do not mean to complain; I am so thankful everyday for what we CAN do. Is it selfish of me to want more? We deserve it. We deserve buying some things here & there. We deserve that family vacation. We deserve to go to the movies if we want to, go out to eat if we want to, take the kids to the zoo without planning it for 2-3 months. Know what I mean? It's just frustrating sometimes.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Now, more importantly, Hubs has to go on a bachelor party tomorrow. Which means he will be useless to me all weekend. Awesome.

Weight, weddings & why I don't like either of them...

I have the day off. Which most people love, however I do not. Bc I love money. And I don't make any by being at home. Blaaahhhhhhh

My Shred is not going so swell, I don't think. I sustained a minor injury last week, bc I didn't do the neck circles in the warm-up. They make me super dizzy and I want to vomit. I paid the price the next day when I couldn;t turn my head to the right. My neck was in bad condition. So I took a day off from the shred. I also took this weekend off; Saturday, bc I had to go to a bachlorette party, and Sunday bc it was WAY too hot in the house to be working out. I worked up a sweat just walking around. There was no way Jillian was going to pull me in that night. So I have 5 days until a wedding this weekend. I wonder if anywhere around here sells Spanx?????

And truthfully, I do see a little (small) difference with the shred. Unfortunately, as I've said before, I will not change my diet. If I lived off of lettuce and plain grilled chicken, I'm sure there would be a significant change. But I really like cookies. And cookies like my mid-section. I can't break that up!!

And is it bad of me, to not care about weddings anymore? Like, mine's done, so I'm over the whole wedding thing. I haven't even tanned for this one. At all. I'm at least getting my hair done tomorrow, so that's a plus. Weddings are just highly overrated, but everyone wants one. I tell people all the time, if I could do it over again, we'd have gone away somewhere nice, and done something very small, just us. That way, we'd have saved THOUSANDS of dollars, and we'd have gotten a honeymoon. Hubs & I have never been on a vacation together-EVER. So it's pretty disappointing. It's even more disappointing, bc the reasons why we didn't do that in the first place, was so our families could be there (they couldn't afford to travel, specifically, my dad, who didn't even go to the reception. Which I found out AT THE RECEPTION.) There was a lot of things about my wedding that I went out of my way to do for others, instead of doing things for myself, and those people didn't even care, so to me, it was just a bunch of hurt feelings & wasted money. I'm thankful for my marriage itself...and I did get some really nice pictures (which I could've gotten nice pics somewhere else too.) Have I ever talked about how my cake was the wrong color?? Agh don't even get me started.

What is your attitude toward weddings? Are you over it too if you're already married? or am I the only mean person in the world???

Chat Stew: Rainy Days, Disney & Shredding

Well more big things are happening. Unfortunately, SOMEONE doesn't know it yet, so I cannot talk about it. No, I'm not pregnant again. It's not even about me. But it may quite possibly fuck up my next year vacation plans, so I'm a little on the fence about it.

I'm on Level II of THE SHRED. GO ME. WOOT WOOT. And I must say, I do not actually own a scale, so I don't really know if I've lost any weight, but I feel like I only look about 3 months pregnant, as opposed to 4 or 5, so that's always a plus. (Especially when I'M NOT EVEN PREGNANT.) T minus 12 days until wedding #1 of the summer. 12 days, 12 lbs....think I can do it??? Maybe. But I haven't changed my diet. Um at all. I'm just one of those people that cannot possibly diet. It's bad enough I am forcing myself to do a work-out video, must I also punish myself with food??? No effing way. I can't give up chocolate milk, 100 calorie pack chocolate covered pretzels, Taco Bell, or McDonald's mocha frappe's (might as well be crack). Won't happen. I am a big believer that good food enhances your life. Now maybe if I were 400 lbs, THAT might be different... Luckily, I'm not. I'm only HA YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU MY WEIGHT RIGHT THERE DIDN'T YA??????

Did I mention that Hubs watches me work out and makes fun of me at least 25% of the time, which is 25% too much??? He does.

I've also been spending a large amount of my internet time planning my Disney vacay. Which I am shooting for next spring, unless said big stuff doesn't fuck it up. I just choose to sometimes go to my happy place, which are a small collection of websites devoted to Disney World. I've never been, but have been on a lifelong quest of getting there. This slew of weddings (4 altogether) really effed me in the A this year, as ummm we were planning to go this week actually come to think of it. And here I sit in Ohio, and it's been pouring down rain since about 8am, and doesn't look to be stopping anytime soon. I'd be having a WAY better time in the World searching for Hidden Mickeys, and getting my hair done at the BBB. (Ok, so I'm not really going to get my hair done at BBB. Well, maybe. A little glitter never hurt.) I could be poolside at the AKL, instead I'm worried there may be a pool forming in my basement (it leaks with heavy rain). So with that I will leave you with a pic of the Happiest Place on Earth, and hope it brings a little magic to your day, as it does mine...

I have an announcement. Not a good one.

I went to my Dr yesterday to get the BC shot. (Hurts like a bitch, btw.) And the first thing they asked me to do is step onto the scale.

Um I'd rather not, but whatev.
Ok I just had a baby blah blah blah. I should at least SLOWLY be losing SOMETHING, right???
But instead the confirmed me & my husbands suspicions.

I am becoming a fat ass. I GAINED 9 LBS since 3 months ago.
WHAAAATTTT????So today on my lunch break, I purchased this:


YEAH I KNOW. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I've got 20 lbs to lose, and a weeding to be in memorial day weekend. And another 4 weeks later....and another 2 months after that. KILL ME NOW.

I mean, with problems like these, how can I possibly focus on more important things, like whether or not to ask Kim to send me 5 more selections or keep what I got?????? I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I have strongly considered posting "before & after" pics of my weight loss journey, and for the sake of my privacy, I will just give you a representation. Here is my "before":





And here is my "after" (in 30 days):



I won't leave home to work out. That's why I spent 9 hard earned dollars on J.M.'s dvd. Oh and she's got another one- "Last Chance Work-Out". PUH-LEASE!! Actually I may buy it just for funsies. And challenge Hubs to a last-chance work out duel. He's already refused to shred with me though. Whatev.

So my current challenge is getting Hubs out of the living room so I can use the dvd player. (Actually, blue-ray bc we're fancy kind of folk.)