What am i doing on New Years Eve, you ask?? I'll tell you.

Allright, well this will *probably* be my last post before doomsday, I mean, baby day comes. Unless something tragic worth telling happens, which is quite possible considering my plans for the next couple days...

Anywho- Today is Monday, and Thursday at 9am, my stomach is once again being sliced open once again, to remove an alien being that will bring me both joy & misery. Joy, that I have another baby, misery, that my wonderful nights of sleep will be gone, that I just got to the point with my son, where I can turn him loose at family functions, and not have too watch him TOO closely & actually get some adult time in. It's all over. Here we go again.

And to top it all off, I will probably not be released from the hospital until Sunday, and I DO NOT HAVE A LAPTOP. I'm pretty sure if I don't die in surgery, I may die from lack of facebook. I have been told MULTIPLE times in the past week how much people look forward to my status updates...Now if only they'd read my damn blog too.

So farewell for the next week or so. Tomorrow, I may be attempting to take my son to the movies for the 1st time. Yeah. That ought to be good. And then Wednesday, we're apparently going out to eat with family members. Again, should be interesting.

So bye. I'm sure I'll have some good shit to blog about when I return!

Merry Christmas to all....and good luck paying your bills!

Ahhhh Christmas Eve...got the house cleaned (Santa doesn't come to dirty houses), got Santa's cookies made (hope he likes Pillsbury...yep, yep he does...) and made the annual Christmas Eve run to Toys R Us for the last minute gifts. This year: an easel pad for the art easel he's getting, dry erase markers, for said easel, they were out of chalk for the chalkboard side, but I made up for it with a Toy Story popcorn tin, that will eventually hold toys. And also a small gift for each of 2 family Christmas' in which Santa visits and brings the kids toys. A small Trio set that builds an airplane, and the travel size version of Perfection.

I also had to talk myself down from dropping $50 on a Christmas train to circle the tree...I'll be going back Saturday morning to check the after-Christmas sale on that. We always had one at my dad's house, and I thought it was SO COOL.

Merry Christmas to all my bloggy friends! I hope yours turns out to be as awesome as mine is turning out to be! We thought this may be our hardest Christmas yet, but have been so blessed! We actually bought each other-NICE-gifts, our little boy got everything he could've dreamed of, and then some...my husband was blessed enough to pick up a lot of overtime the past couple months that made it all happen. We were so worried with the baby coming, how we could afford all of this at once, and we made it happen. I feel so thankful!!

P.S. I'm still baking that bun in my oven. Hopefully, she stays put! One more week! Almost there! Thank goodness, bc my back very well may give out on me soon!

Happy Holidays everyone!

A Plea to my Unborn Child...

First, let me briefly explain that my first birthing experience was semi-traumatic. I was induced the day before my due date, went through almost 12 hours of labor (and had a horrible reaction to the epidural in the process), and after an hour & 15 min of pushing, he just would not come out. So on we went to the OR, where I had an emergency c-section. Woohoo.

For these reasons, I chose to just schedule my c-section this time because I just don't feel the need to go through all of that again. Okay, I get the idea, once was enough. So I decided to make my life as easy as possible this time. I am scheduled to go in at 9am on Dec. 31st.

So I go to the Dr today, and she does my exam, looks at me questioningly and says

"Are you contracting?"

"Um no. And I'm really trying to avoid it..."

"Well, if you do, call us right away so we can do your c/s that day. You're 1 cm dilated, and your cervix is pretty soft. I'm not too concerned, but you may go into labor."

"I better frickin' not..."

And to myself, I am thinking, it would be my f-ing luck, Christmas Day or some shit...

So this is my plea to my fetus:

Dear daughter,
You and I will have plenty of years ahead of us to not get along. Please do not start now. That'd be great. Stay cookin'. Thanks.
Love, Your haggard mother

I have a case of the Mondays...

Mondays SUCK. Now that Jon & Kate is over, at least. I have nothing to look forward to. At least they moved Cake Boss up, so there's a chance I MAY be able to stay up to watch it, seeing as how my DVR decided to quit working last week...and BTW we are switching providers on Wednesday, so I'm sure that will be a whole other post. Our electronic set-up is pretty elaborate, so a new provider is going to rock my world. I still haven't figured out how to work what we've got. And we've lived here 3 years...

My husband, the electrician/electronic buff, is also debating on which LED or LCD or ABCDEFG tv to buy right now, bc apparently, we are in dire need for a giant tv for the GARAGE so he can watch football out there with his friends. We've been saying we need a new bedroom tv, so we can give ours to our son, bc his is a peice of crap, so I'm totally fine with that. However, he decided to do some online browsing last night, and put not 1, but 2, ABCDEFG tv's in his "cart". I talked him down, bc I feel this is excessive. So he decides 1 will do the job, but here's the issue: if he chooses just 1, it will go in our bedroom, but also needs to be able to be moved into the garage for big games. Fine. No prob. Except he wants at least a 40". I think a 40" tv in our bedroom is RIDICULOUS. If we had some wonderful, big master suite, ok fine. But we don't. We have a 10 x 10 room. That barely fits our furniture. Ummmm no. I will keep you posted on the outcome of this.

Yesterday was also Hubs birthday. Which I spent at a surprise baby shower, thrown by my friends. And Hubs was in on it. He had to be, bc when my BFF asked me to hang out, I originally told her no bc it was his birthday, and most days, I enjoy married life, which would end if I made plans with my friends on his bday. So she texted him and basically told him to find something else to do bc he was effing up her plan.

So, since I didn't have time yesterday, I made his bday cake today. A pineapple upside down cake. My first I've ever made, and ummm...I've had better. But it was what was in the cupboard so that's what he got. And my wonderful, cute little innocent offspring asked for a peice, so I start to get him a peice, as he threw the newspaper pages all over the floor one by one. This is the treatment I get. I make them cake; they make me a mess to clean. Awesome.

I dedicate this post to...(Hiding from the Kids)

So I just did something, that had you told me 10 years ago as I filled out my "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" paper in high school, I would've never thought to write down.

I am home alone with my lovely offspring, whom, tonight, has mixed up his indoor & outdoor voices and feels he must SCREAM.EVERY.LAST.WORD. and in my

(I just stopped mid-type bc said offspring just decided to pour his cup of green kool-aid onto the carpet, to which I looked up to heaven, raise my hands and sang "Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!", hoping that Jesus himself would keep me from flipping the eff out.)

...lost my train of thought...

Oh yes. In my attempt to save my sanity, I decided I MUST have a fudgesicle. But how, do I accomplish this, seeing as I already gave 1 to darling offspring 2 hours ago? How will I EVER pull off eating this treat without more screaming???

I hid & locked myself in the bathroom. There I sat. On the toilet (and yes, i figured might as well pee since I'm in there.) I sat, pants down, eating a fudgesicle. AND texted hubs at the same time to tell him exactly what I was doing, and promising I WOULD send a picture, but do not trust that he wouldn't show it to his class full of electricians.

So here's to you, Cheif. My (Hiding from the Kids) moment. Of the day.

Oh shit, I just ripped the armpit hole of my t-shirt even bigger as I scratched an itch just then. (What will I do when my fav. college t-shirt is unwearable???)

I have recovered from my Thanksgiving injuries, thank you.

Yes, I said injurieS, plural.

First and foremost, I must say, I am a huge fan of Criminal Minds, and last Wednesdays episode was UH-MAZE-ING. I dvr'd it and watched it again last night when I couldn't sleep, bc I felt like torturing myself with the intensity & agony. Good Lord. Anyone who saw it, you know what I mean. But along with it being the best episode EVA, it was also the saddest, and made me cry. Both times I watched it.

Okay, so turkey came & went like any other one would. I was pleasantly surprised when my office decided to pay out our unused vacation time-convieniently on Thursday. Wa-hoo. I had some BF shopping funds. And boy, did it come in handy! I was up at 4 am, left the house with the previous days make-up on at 4:30 (nope, I don't wash it off before bed, and I do have nice skin thank-ya-very-much) and got to the mall about 10 til 5. Met a work friend for breakfast around 6, continued on my journey and got back home around 12:30. I got everything I needed, and this is where injury #1 comes in- MY FEET WERE KILLLLLLLING ME. KILLING ME. Why I didn't wear tennis shoes, I don't know. Yes, I do. Because the 1 pair of non-work tennis shoes I own are ugly. That's why. So I chose the fashion before comfort route, and had to practically crawl into my house. Horrible. So then, I try to take a nap for the next 4 hours, of which I slept about 30 min, due to my son coming in my room every 15 min asking if I was rested yet, and could I read him this book? and oh yeah- he wants Little Bear on NOW. At one point, I had to pee, (seeing as it had been about 30 min since my last pee...a pregnant chick record!) and as I started to get out of bed, my LEGS were almost IMMOBILE they hurt so bad. Moms, back me up, when it gets late in your pregnancy, your legs, like right at your hip joint where everything attaches, start to hurt like a mo' fo' bc everything is shifting, preparing for childbirth. (Which, I've been trying to make a deal with nature, bc this is not neccessary for a woman with a scheduled c-section.) And then I walked around shopping for 8 hours...I couldn't freakin move. (Thus: Injury #2)

And injury #3 came on Saturday when I hosted the in-laws for our own TG dinner. As I was taking to rolls out of the oven, they started to slide off the pan, back into the oven, and my first thought was to grab the pan with my other hand. And then I proceeded to jump up & down from the pain of grabbing a 350 degree pan right out of the oven with my mitt-less hand. I spent the next 2 hours soaking it in cold water, which I'm pretty sure is not what you're supposed to do. But finally, I sucked it up, and allowed it to come to room temp. Today, my hand is mostly, except for a little spot on the pad of my pinky, that WILL be peeling in a few days. But at least it didn't blister. I need my hands for work. One of my college instrustors always said "Protect your hands! Your hands are your livelihood!" True dat. I have 3 weeks left of work- then will have 8 weeks of unpaid Christmas vacay & maternity leave. I need these 3 weeks!!

I apologize for my lack of commenting & posting over the holiday. I'm still trying to get caught up on normal things. After nearly DYING this weekend, and only 4 hours of sleep last night, i doubt that will happen tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

ITSALMOSTHEREITSALMOSTHERE!!!!!

Black Friday that is. Now, bc I am a part-time worker, I typically don't have a lot of money to blow. I prefer to do my shopping, a little at a time, and often. So really, the only thing left on my agenda that is a MUST DO on BF, is my BIL's GF's gift. But I've been analyzing BF ads online since Sunday night, debating what I need to waste some cash on.

I DO have 1 toy left to get for my son. That he is DYING for, and may kill me in my sleep if Santa does not bring it. Rocky the Robot Truck. Have you seen this thing? It's a dump truck that like gets up on its back wheels and sings & dances. It IS a pretty cool toy for a 3 1/2 yr old. He fell in love with this truck about 2 months ago, when something evil force within me decided it would be okay to take him to Toys R Us. (For the record, never okay. TRU should have a "parents only" rule to save us all from ever thinking it might be okay.) Well, my problem is I am cheap, and $60 is a lot for a dancing truck.

So I stop into Walmart yesterday, to see if they have it, and lo-and-behold, they have 1 left- for the low-rollback price of $40. (And I cut a $3 off coupon for this toy out of Sunday's paper. woot woot) Problem is, at this time, I have about $3 to my name. So I pray to God no noe buys it until I get paid. I get home, tell hubs about the truck and he asks me why I didn't buy it. Ummm bc I have $3 and it costs $40. So then he informs me, I could've used money from our bills only account. Well, I don't know this, bc I'm not the billpayer. I never know the balance or what needs paid when, or how much anything is...I just prefer not to be bothered by those things. So I tell hubs to stop there on his way home from class. His response is "I don't really want to." Oh well, okay then?!?!?! I'll spend 420 more on it at TRU bc you don't fell like going to pick it up. Cool.

So I got smart this morning, and called Walmart, they still have the one & only, and it's being held for me until tonight. EAT IT. IN YO FACE.

And to all mothers- or future- ALWAYS check Walmart before making any purchase at TRU. It's always cheaper. And our local TRU has the WORST MANAGER EVER. But that's a whole other post....

Oh and good luck to all the other BF shoppers. Let's all take our manners with us, umkay??

What? You act like you've never seen anyone run over a fire hydrant before? Geez.

Let me start by saying, I have not been involved in an accident in 7 YEARS. I normally do not do stupid things (well, some may argue, but that's a different post for a rainy day...). And this particular incident, I blame on my job. If I didn't have to go to work for a stupid meeting on my day off, I would've been home and this would NOT have happened.

So. That being said...

I took Austin with me to my meeting today. He surprised the crap out of me and played quietly by himself in the playroom the whole hour I was in the meeting. The few times my child DOES behave in public, I feel deserves a reward. So I ask if he'd like to go to the mall and get a pretzel, bc he LOVES them, he thinks they are their own food group. Of course, he wants to go.

So I take him to Auntie Anne's, we eat our pretzels, I realize I have misplaced my debit card & pay with the only cash I had- babysitter money for next week. Oh well. I can go to the ATM later. If I find my card. (FYI- card later found. In my pocket. Shocking.)

I decide, this day is going too well, and I should quit while I'm ahead and go home. So we go out to the truck (I drive an SUV) and I had parked in a spot I have parked in THOUSANDS of times before. A spot that HAPPENS to have a fire hydrant in front of it, surrounded by 4 concrete poles, about 2 feet high (this is where we need to think about things, ok short poles, TALL SUV....yeah...). Now, these poles are practically falling over, bc soooooo many people have gone forward out of those spots before, and ran them over. I've SEEN ppl do it. But, I'm in mommy mode, I strap my son into his seat, get into my seat, look again for lost debit card, to no avail, and decide I can tear my purse apart at home. So I drive forward.

And I hear a crunch. And I say a little "Oh crap." I still have not remmebered that there is a FIRE HYDRANT in front of me, so I'm thinking it's just one of those little low-to-the-ground concrete blocks. And I go forward a little more. And now I can't move at all. And then...

"OH SHIT THOSE POLES!!!"

I get out and see I have successfully ran fully over a pole, and am now resting on the fire hydrant.

Huh. What to do, what to do...I try to back up. Can't. Stuck. Well this is just great. I sit there for a good 5 minutes thinking. I call hubs TWICE at work, he's not answering. I call my brother in law, knowing he's usually at work too, and I don't really know what I expect him to do, except be near a phone book to call a tow truck. So I call him, and whadoyaknow- he took a personal day today, so he's on his way.

After about 10 minutes, I remember I have insurance (duh) and I think they might be able to do something. So I find my card & call. And lo & behold, I have roadside assistance. And they'll fully cover someone to come get me off the pole. (THATS WHAT SHE SAID!! HAHAHAHAHA) And remember, at this point, debit card is still missing, so I'd be S.O.L. if I actually had to pay anything.

So my BIL shows up, and is laughing as he gets out of his truck, and tells me that hubs called HIM about the situation (didn't call me back, don't check on your wife & child, that's fine.) and makes a few comments implying hubs may be real pissed.

To shorten up the story, tow truck comes, it takes a good HOUR to get my truck off the fire hydrant & pole...The pole was the real problem (isn't it always???) and all that was damaged was the bumper. No biggie. I don't care, I'd rather run over something dumb than actually be in a collision and be hurt. (Apparently, some ppl don't see it this way. Like Hubs.) And at LEAST 100 ppl off & on decided to gawk, stare & laugh. Keep laughing peeps, keep laughing, Karma's a BITCH. (I know her, she really is.)

Hubs had to go to class tonight, and has yet to say a WORD about the situation. So I can only assume he called his brother for the details bc he's apparently not talking to me. (Yes, he is my overgrown child.) Except, Austin did tell him, "Mommy ran over something today." and all he got was an eye-roll.

Austin did come up with a really great idea though...

"Mom? Let's not tell Daddy the bad story. Let's just get a new car. I don't like this truck anyway. I like brown. It's my favorite."

You've GOT to be kidding me...

This is what I said to myself, when I put my child in timeout, heard him throw something that sounded like his potty being thrown across his room, and walked in and saw poop all over the carpet, and the potty flipped upside down on the floor. Covered in poop & pee.

Oh.my.God.

Why am I even surprised anymore? Oh wait, I really wasn't. Should've made the time to empty that this morning...

This led to 45 minutes of more screaming & crying, butt spankings, and a full-on meltdown.

And suddenly...it stopped. Suddenly, the demons left his body (I swear I even saw them exit through his ears and float away like dust in the wind...okay maybe not. but still.) and he transformed into my sweet, darling little boy again.

And all because Little Bear said it was opposite day, and he heard Father Bear say "Have a terrible night!" which he found HILARIOUS.

Apparently, no one likes my opinion. Anywho...

So no one decided to comment on my last 2 posts. Whatev. That's cool. I'll remember that.

So I feel the need to do a little bit o' bitchin today. I don't normally complain about work or patients (well, not publicly...) but today I had one man that really irked me.

I had a 4 year old boy, which, mind you, 4 yr olds are hit & miss anyway. Some are awesome, some are horrid, some are just confused, some are lost in the cartoons on the tv in the corner of my room...This particular 4 yr old, was confused. And rightfully so!! First, he was EXCITED to come back with me, which is USUALLY an indicator to overbearing parents to stay out in the lobby-where they belong (bc they tend to complicate things. Keep reading for case & point.) But this mom, (who was missing more teeth than she actually had) also brought along HER father (and does everytime, as noted in said child's chart), and they both JUMP up, and grandpa says "Oh I want to see how he does!" Okay, fine. If you really want to be proud & see him do great, fine. Come on back. So as I walk up to mom, to say hi, and ask if she has any concerns with little nugget, she says
"What are you having?"
I, taken aback, bc I hadn't even said hi yet say "Oh....Um...a girl." (I don't mind sharing personal info, but only with people with decent teeth.)
"Oh, see? I told you so! I can tell its a girl by how shes carrying. Look at her, I told you it's a girl. I wish I had a girl."

While I did not say this, I was THINKING 'Why would you wish such awful things upon innocent children?'

I digress.

So little nugget, who was very cute btw, (and had good teeth, shockingly, bc his mother can't even take of hers...) was being good, and said he would try to take pictures of his teeth (xrays). So I ask mom & grandpa to leave the room (BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL FOR ANYONE OTHER THAN THE PATIENT TO BE IN THE ROOM DURING XRAYS. THE BUTTON IS EVEN OUTSIDE. MOST PEOPLE KOW THIS.) They go out, reluctantly, and the real problems begin...

I'm talking to little nugget-
"Okay, I need you to bite down on this and then hold real still. Don't move at all."
Child bites and sits still.
Grandpa pipes up-
"Keep biting down! Just keep biting down!"
And child begins GNAWING on the film, bc he took grandpa's instructions to mean repeatedly bite down. And basically eat the film. This is why parents/gp's are NO.HELP.WHATSOEVER.
So I finally get the kid to stop eating the film. Then right as I run out to push the button, he moves his head. So I go back in to correct his head position, which is normally not a big deal, easily fixed.
Except for grandpa decides to run back into the room-ahead of me even. And starts moving the kids head around and missing with my xray equipment. So I say-
"I need you to be in the hall while I do this."
"Okay I know, I will in just a minute."
No. That is not how it works bucko. I am the professional here, I went to college to have the privelage of positoning heads correctly and messing around with extremely expensive xray equipment. Not you. So by this point I am extremely aggrevated, and I say (very firmly)...

"No. You need to go out there. You cannot be in here, it is illegal."

And ol' pappy puts his hands up, like he was surrenduring to me, and left. And guess what? I couldn't get any xrays to turn out bc the poor kid by the end of this didn't know up from down. Shocking.

Agh. And the rest of the appointment, they continue to talk for this poor child, who clearly can speak for himself, if given the chance...and then start asking me more questions about my baby and my due date, and-get this- when they think I will go into labor.

Geeeeeeeezzzzzzz people. I don't know you. I don't care when YOUR birthday is, when your MOM'S is, when your UNCLE'S is, and how much it would SUCK to be a Christmas baby, but how awesome it would be to be the New Years baby. Obviously, I didn't tell them I have a c/s scheduled for Dec 31st, they'd prolly want to come visit. They clearly wanted to talk details. None 'yo. (None yo bid-nazz, that is...)

My Philosophies....(I'm not sure I can even spell that word...)

Just to put a FEW things out there to vent...bc I get sooooooo tired of stupid people and ignorant comments. And I keep my mouth shut bc I hear soooooo many people with false info, that it drives. me. inSANE.

Here we go:

1. I'm getting the H1N1 vaccine for myself & the fam. I highly doubt we will grow extra limbs, or become any more mentally challenged than we already are. Sorry folks, I'm pregnant, and not looking forward to DEATH by SWINE FLU. "Oh who knows if it's safe? blah blah blah...I have my thumb up my ass...blah blah blah...." THE FDA WOULDN'T APPROVE IT IF IT WASN'T. Get over yourselves.

2. I VOTED FOR OBAMA. AND NO I DON'T THINK THE COUNTRY IS GOING TO SHIT OVER A HEALTH CARE BILL.

3. Local issue: casinos in Ohio. Bring 'em on. I honestly heard someone say "The only jobs it will create is for those who build it." REALLY??? THEY'RE GOING TO BUILD MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CASINOS AND THEN THEY SIT EMPTY? No, jackass, people will WORK there. LOTS of people.

4. I am pregnant, and I still drink regular pepsi and eat kids cereals full of sugar, always have, always will. My first child came out fine, and I'm pretty sure this one will too. Back off bitches. I don't talk to my belly, I don't play it music, I don't sit around and encourage the fam to give it kisses, I don't feel it's neccesary. Oh yeah and I don't breastfeed either. Get over it. Above said child is fine. I wasn't breastfed. I'm healthy. I seriously do NOT believe it makes your child better/smarter/faster than mine. And I ALSO bonded with my son JUST FINE without it.

5. And suck on this- I also asked my OBGYN to have the nurses clean my newborn son before I held him. Sorry, I don't want bloody, other-bodily-fluid- covered baby THROWN at my face. I just don't. And yet, I still bonded with my baby. WEIRD. And I plan on doing the same thing again.

And no, I did not have a bad day. It just occured to me that I should probably vent this on my blog to people I do not see in my "real" life, bc like I said, I keep my mouth shut as to avoid confrontation about certain issues.

So I wish all of you a sun-shiney weekend, from my liberal, formula feedin', clean baby holdin', casino workin', Obama votin', H1NI avoidin', pregnant self.

My Big Green Tractor is in the shop...

Soooooo the CMA's were last night. I love all kinds of music, but I really love new country. Carrie Underwood rocks my world. (And my husbands dreams from what he tells me.) So I watch all this stuff, and then for about the next week, I am a country superstar (at least in the shower I am.)
My son is obsessed with "Big Green Tractor" by Jason Aldean, bc my son is obsessed with farms & farm equipment. (We live in Ohio, can ya tell?) So I tell him he can stay up & watch to see if we hear that song sung. Well, he didn't make it that long, bc he likes to use my pregnant belly as a trampoline, so he got bansihed to bed.
So when Jason Aldean finally comes on to sing the song, I'm yelling at my hubs "Hit record! NOW! NOW! HURRY!" so that my tractor lovin son can watch it the next day. So he records it- and then don't ya know, HE ACCIDENTLY DELETES IT!!!! I was more infuriated than I was when said tractor lovin son repeatedly called me a baby & told me he didn't like me...
Hubs yells

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!!" realizing what he's done. To which I respond...

"You deleted it, DIDN'T YOU?? WAY TO FUCKING GO!!" (In mind, I also called him father of the year, but had already surprised myself my how angry I already sounded, so I quickly decided to discontinue use of my vocal cords...)

So hubs tries to recover the deleted performance for the 10 min to no avail. So I figured I could look it up on You Tube for tractor lovin son today...

Which I would do, but currently tractor lovin son has opened a bottle of baby lotion and is spreading about half of it all over his Batman castle-batcave-thing. So I probably should go clean that up now.

UPDATE: I just realized my following has nearly DOUBLED this week to 7. woohoo!! this truly makes me happy, and maybe next week, i'll hit double digits. tell your friends ladies, what they're missin'. so thank you, other sleep-deprived moms on the quest for 5 MINUTES to take a nap...and if you aren't yet a mom, thank you for getting enjoyment from my everyday pains.

Who wants more ice cream???

I love my child. Currently, I am listening to him scream & beat the walls bc he's pissed I won't give him more ice cream.

If this shit doesn't put me into early labor, I don't what will.

I tell myself about 7,495 times a day, that he is just a 3 1/2 year old, he doesn't know how to express his feelings. Other than screaming at decibels only dogs can hear (and neighbors) and putting holes in the walls. We all feel like that sometime. I can't really BLAME him. Sometimes I want to scream and throw things, but I don't bc I am an adult.

Sigh.

But him screaming & throwing shit, makes me want to scream & throw shit. And let go of a whole slew of profanities that would make HBO offended.

I had all these plans to re-do his room, to make it more gender neutral (as he will be sharing with his soon-to-be baby sister), but decided against it once I realized that ink pen just will not wash off, and seeing as his crayons & markers got thrown away about a week ago, bc I told him to pick them up and he instantly ran over to draw an orange line on the wall...painting right now just wouldn't be smart. Neither would be getting new carpet, with at least 2 daily spills of food/drink.

On the up-side, he has officially stopped using his bedroom floor as a urinal. I told my hubby to put the small potty back in psychotic 3 year olds room, to which I received an eyeroll and a "Agh, Sarah. Whatever.", which I responded "Well, taking it out obviously has not taught him to come out of his room when he wakes up and go to the bathroom, and you are not the one 7 months pregnant, on your hands & knees scrubbing piss out of the carpet every.single.day. or washing sheets at least every OTHER day, so really, you just need to go downstairs and get the potty and put it back, umkay?"

So for the first time in MONTHS, I changed demon childs sheets, NOT bc they were covered in pee, but bc they had been on his bed for a whole week. Maybe a little longer. Just thought I'd freshen his little bed up...and I didn't mind that so much!

Reallllly need to be careful what I say sometimes...

So allright, I do not ever cuss in front of my son, and am pretty good about not saying things in general that could go south when repeated by a 3 year old.

Welp, tonight was different. We were all watching Dora as a family, and that darn Swiper came and stold the railroad tracks so the train had to stop, did the evil laugh, and says his classic "You'll NEVER find them now! heh heh heh!" At this point, I have clearly had enough of Swipers schenanigans, I look at my husband and I say "Swiper is SUCH d-bag." To which my sweet little inncoent baby says "Yeah Swiper is just a d-bag."

And I proceeded to bury my face in a pillow and LMAO as my husband tells my son that mommy is '"real mature".

Agreed.

And yes, I pulled myself together long enough to say "Now don't say that, it wasn't nice, mommy shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

And again buried my face to laugh.

Oh, what it takes to make a 3 year old happy....

Well, I haven't had a whole lot to post on lately, so here's a story about my son, that he reminded me of today:

One day, on one of days off, i was sitting here at the computer, which is where I spend most of my time when I'm off work, for lack of anything better to do, and it was some time in the afternoon, when the mail comes. We have a mail slot in our front door that my son likes to play with. He'll put little toys through it, push it open, whatever, keeps the child entertained.

So he was pushing his hands through, and I hear the screen door open, and I hear my dear son say "Thank you!" and a female voice say 'You're welcome!" and I turn around just in time to see him, mail in hand, taking his hand out of the mail slot. He totally reached through the slot and took the mail from the mail carrier, who I can only imagine got a good laugh, and possibly even a little weirded out by the small, tiny hand & arm coming through the mail slot. But I found this HILARIOUS and so cute, and I proceeded to laugh my butt off once I realized what he just did.

Ever since, as soon as he hears the mail, he gets up and runs to the door, but is usually too late. Today, he came close, the mail was pushed through the slot and he got up and pushed open the slot door & said "Thank you!" and laughed and said "Mom he waved at me!" which of course, gave me another good laugh.

We actually had a good day today, which was nice considering just 2 days ago I was a crying hysterical mess, begging him to be nice to me. Nothing makes you feel bipolar quite the way children do. I never thought I stand in front of my child, bawling, asking through my tears "Why aren't you nice to me? Can't you see how upset I am? please, just stop!!" of all the things I've been called in my life, of all the things done to me in my life, my kid calling me a poop head, throwing toys and making a mess is what it takes to make me lose it. *Sigh*

Take THAT Jon!!

Hahahaha after a long day of work, chasing kids to clean their teeth, and sprinting to push the xray button, before they push the film out, I am ex.haus.ted. BUT I just got a good laugh, because msn.com reported that Jon Gosselin must repay $180,000 by the next court date (Oct. 26). And it made me think to myself Take THAT a*hole, apparently the courts don't feel it was that innocent, way to stick it to him, Kate!!!

Oh, I feel like I should have so much to say, I haven't blogged for a few days...we did find out we are expecting a little girl, which excites me and scares the crap out of me all at once. I DID also fail my first glucose test- WITH FLYING COLORS!!! And will going on for the 3 hour test tomorrow, which my doctor said she is confident I will fail as well. Hmm. I'll keep you updated on this goes...The funny part is, is as I was on the phone explaiing everything to a friend of mine, I was stuffing my face with peanut butter fudge.

As Jon's Light-Head Turns....

So, I just watched the Insider videos online of Jon's day 2 on the Insider (thank you babymama at Gosselin Family Fan Site), nothing really shocks me anymore with this guy. For 2 days now, he's willingly gone on this show, for the sole purpose of everyone else on the panel telling him what he's doing wrong, all so he can throw his hands up and be at a loss for words when they make their point. Which is HILARIOUS, but almost not even entertaining at this point, because all of America has been doing this for about 6 months now.

It's really none of our business, how many bank accounts they have, and how much is in them and whatever. I don't care. That is private information. when Kate discussed this on the Today show, she was already planning on appearing and this happened right before she went, so naturally, she's gonna talk about it. I don't blame her for being upset at all, I don't blame her for talking about it, I'd do the same thing if I were in that situation. He's a scumbag. If Jon is so innocent, he should've had his lawyer take care of the issue (this is the kind of thing they are getting paid to do, right?) and on his appearances, simply said, "My lawyer is taking care of it, there's no issue, she spoke prematurely, it's settled, or in the process of being settled." INSTEAD, he chooses to say oh look, here's my bank statements, so we can all track his every move. Which is a sham because he only showed 1 withdrawel statement to my knowledge, which doesn't prove anything except that 1 withdrawel. Way to think that one out Jon.

What next? Really, what next?

Can it get ANY worse???

Agh so as I was watching the season finale of Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami, I see the ticker at the bottom stating Jon Gosselin has emptied the joint account he shares with Kate, leaving her with $1000.

Really, Jon? Really? Do you think this HELPS the situation? Does it?

I can't wait to see Kate on the Today show tomorrow, I have to work, so I have it set up to record. I am FUMING!!!! Kate has reportedly hired a high-power attorney. I think the claws are finally going to come out. This should be an interesting week. I'll follow up on this tomorrow.

An Ode to Saturday Mornings

Okay, so I'm not really gonna write an ode. But it is 9:15 and let me tell you how my day is going so far.

My 3 year old finally accomplished the potty training feat this summer. However, we still have nighttime accidents an average of twice a week. I'm okay with this. I expect it. The issue comes when it is Saturday or Sunday morning and my angelic child waked up before mommy & daddy and for whatever reason, REFUSES to leave his room until we get up & let him out. This is where the majority of the accidents come from.

So this morning, I hear him shouting "ACORN! ACORN!" which is funny because he not only does not have a real acorn, he doesn't have toy that resembles an acorn.

I digress.

I hear the shouting, decide I better get up. I go potty myself, hack up the lower lobe of my right lung (it's true, I saw it. I'm still fighting this cold.) and make my way into my offspring's room. And the first thing he says is

"Mommy, I didn't pee in my pants! I went to the potty!"

Me: "You DID?!? I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!"

And then come the hugs & kisses & all that. So we go into the kitchen, so he can pick what he wants for breakfast and he drops the bomb:

"Actually, I didn't go in the potty." (I love his use of the word "actually")

"You didn't?"

"No. I peed on the floor."

"Austin, did you pull your pants down and pee on the floor?"

Head shake and smile, yes.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I wanted to."

"Dogs pee on the floor Austin, and they get in trouble for it. Don't do that again. Your carpet is gonna smell like pee. That's gross."

He laughs.

So that's how my day has gotten started. Oh- and I walked in the pee spot too. He wasn't lying. And now, I'll be attempting to take my child to a public place- a craft show, where they always cheap mums and pumpkins that I MUST have. My husband thinks I'm brave for taking him, I think I'm brave too. lol

Kate + 8, My New Wig & Football Weekend

I've been home for about 15 min and already soooo much to talk about!!

First and foremost, TLC announced "Jon & Kate + 8" will be renamed "Kate + 8" to reflect Kate's transition as a single mom of 8. Jon will still appear, but not so much.

THANK YOU TLC! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT DOUCHE ANYWAY!!

But WAIT- Jon apparently has halted the divorce proceedings for 90 days in order for the family to work together more cooperatively through this transition AND admitted his less than stellar behavior since the separation, saying he got involved with other women too soon. Change of heart? Is this the end of his douche-baggery??? Doubtful. But acknowledgement is the first step. Sp please, Jon, we beg of you, please REALLY mean what you say and move forward in a more positive way for your children. They'll thank you later.

So, some of you may already know I ordered my Kate Gosselin halloween wig, for the SOLE PURPOSE of telling my husband I had a hair appt on my day off, so when he came home, I'd wear the wig and he'd FLIP out. Well, it came today. And the ONE DAY I worked late, he beat me home, saw the package, opened it and ruined my trick. So now I MUST wear it for halloween. I can't let my 12.99 go to waste. I will say, the quality of it sucks anyway, and I'm going to have to style it better...

And my trip to Ann Arbor was not so bad. Mich. won- barely. But whatever, we'll take it. The guy in front of us had his 6 year old with him and yelled at my brother-in-law for a little bit o' profanity. But hey- it's college football. You can't possibly bring your children and not expect it, so remember the earmuffs, folks. lol

Michigan Homecoming

Tomorrow, I am going to the UM homecoming game with the hubby, brother-in-law and others. I am posting this today, just to let everyone know how much I look forward to sleeping in on saturdays.

My BIL is insisting on being one of the first people to park on the golf course and tailgate. The game starts at noon.

We are leaving at 5am.

Last year when we went to a noon game, we left at 8am.

And still parked on the golf course.

And still tailgated.

So why this is necessary to leave at 5am; I am unsure.

I was told to "Take it or leave it."

So I will let everyone know how this goes. All I can say is, it better be a good game against Indiana. Go blue!!!!

Having a day off is not always good...

So, I had my usual Wednesday off work, I sooo look forward to Wednesdays, and sleeping in, and a late shower, and taking time for a yummy breakfast. I normally don't have a lot planned, so I wind up cleaning, watching tv, surfin' the net, and keeping my 3 year old from injuring himself in a way that requires a trip to the ambulatory care center. If it only needs a band-aid, sweet.

At some point yesterday I decided that my home needs to look like a Pottery Barn catalog. This is difficult for 2 major reasons: 1. I have a 2 bedroom, just under 1000 sq ft home. It's hard to make it look like anything other than sardines in a can. 2. I had a day off. Hence, I cannot afford Pottery Barn. lol But I got a new catalog, and a new PB Kids catalog, so of COURSE, I spend my time scouring them cover to cover and making a wishlist. I also looked up some past holiday items on EBAY. And THAT'S when I started feeling crafty.

Have you ever seen the little chair-backers they make, or used to make? Yes, Kate had them on a Valentines episode of J&K+8, and I VOWED that if she can have cute things like that with 8 kids, surely I can manage with (soon to be) 2.

I do not sew.
I do not do anything that requires much thought, really.
I DO reallllly love it though when I make the cutest cookies in the class for preschool parties, or spend 10 hours on a Pablo- replica Backyardigans birthday cake and sigh modestly and smile when people say "You MADE that?!?". Or when people walk into our birthday parties and say "Wow."
And I DO really like it when I go above and beyond in ways other parents just don't see a point in doing, because MY kid had something theirs didn't. So sue me. (My mom-guilt, I'm sure will be discussed in a future posting.)

But I love it so much because I never felt like that as a child. My mom never went above & beyond, well, ANYTHING, to make me feel like I had or was something special. She was the one that on the class party sign up sheet, said to put her down for cups. I'm the mom that stands there analyzing what is the most possibly HARDEST, TIME-CONSUMING, and EXPENSIVE thing on the list. And that is what I sign up for.

But I digress.
I saw on ebay someone selling PBK chairbackers- spiders, for halloween, for $35 a piece. And my lightbulb went off and I was like "Phheeesssshhhh. I can make those for under $20." So when the hubby came home, I explained my idea and he gave me a blank look and said

"So you're telling me, there's going to be bags hanging off the chairs, filled with candy, all the time?"

"No. Focus. FOCUSSSSS. There will be a cute, HOLIDAY bag on the chair for a DAY. ONE DAY. WHATEVER HOLIDAY IT IS THAT I MAKE THE BAG FOR. To make our children happy. And it doesn't have to be candy. It can be a book or some dumb little toy. Whatever. Just don't worry about it, I'll show you when I'm done. And I can't AFFORD the Pottery Barn ones and I don't think it'll be hard to make them."

"Oh. You're so thrifty. And your boobs look HUGE today."

Men.

So I took my happy ass off to Hobby Lobby, excited I actually had something to...hobby. I got all my supplies, for $13, and texted my friend, who IS crafty (she even sewed her own diapers. that's dedication.) and quickly explained my idea and that I would be in need of some simple sewing skills. So we made plans for today.

Well, apparently, God did not want me making spider chair backers today, because her sewing machine broke and my demon child tried bringing her kids to the "other side". It ended in lots of tears, spankings, and yelling. And that's just what demon child did to ME. It ended when I came home, took all the toys from his room and found them new homes in other areas of the house (i.e. my dining room) and daddy came home and we all sat down and talked about being nice to each other and why we were all mad. And then read The Cat in the Hat.

As I looked at the new positions of the toy bins/box, I thought, my home looks sooooo much better when these toys are not in here for everyone to see. Way closer to Pottery Barn.

So, my chairbackers are still in pieces waiting to be sewn. I'll let you know how that goes.

Theme Tuesdays...animals in trouble!!! Ahhhhh!!!

Agh, in light of Jessica Simpson's little doggie being eaten by coyotes, The Gosselins giving back their dogs (apparently, this is temporarary people!) and the fact that I actually ENJOY singing the theme song from "The Wonder Pets", I have been thinking about my own little animal nugget...my cat, KitKat. One word, no hyphen. Just KitKat.

Poor little KitKat came to us as a rescued kitten off my husband's grandparents farm. He thought it was a cute litter of kittens, and the little yellow furball was his favorite. So he decided to save him from his fate of being sucked into a John Deere engine (which is what happens to most of the farm kittens...that or the VW Rabbit.) and bring him home for me. It was the first time in my life, I didn't have any pets, and I had always had a cat. And we weren't allowed to have pets wheer we lived, but we were bad asses so we did it anyway.

Grandpa told us KitKat was a girl. So I proceeded to go to the store and bought a pink collar, pink bowls, and a pink litter box. We later found out it was a boy; I'm pretty sure the day I took him to get fixed. Anyway, I spoiled the heck out of this cat. Gave it bathes, treats, brushed it, took it for check-ups at the vet.

And then the baby came.

My son was born and poor KitKat didn't know what him. He'd never seen the toe end of a shoe jabbing his ribs before...It wasn't that bad at first, but as time went on, KitKat got less and less attention, which leads us to today, where the poor cat reminds me to feed him by biting my calves.

Yesterday, kitty was in a rare mood where he was truly pissed about the cards he'd been dealt, and I could tell in his eyes he'd rather have taken the engine. My son will run up and kick him for no reason, he gets his tail pulled, pushed off furniture, stepped on...and I put the final nail in his little kitty coffin when I looked at him and said "Poor KitKat. Wait till there's 2 of them." And his eyes narrowed and he started growling at me. I tried to pet him, and he was sloooowly turning his head, which I knew meant to get my back-stabbing hand away before he ate it for dinner.

Oh yeah, I should go feed him...

*disclaimer: for PETA or the likeness: my cat is taken care of thank you, very much. Is it extravagant? No. But no one's life is with a toddler boy running around. So back off. He's old & grumpy. If I was him, and weighed 20 lbs and the only thing anyone ever said when they saw me was "What a big cat!" I'd be pissed too...as the toddler tries to pull my whiskers out...So I don't want to hear it.

The Emmys...Kate's new show...and Khloe getting married??

The Emmys...didn't watch. Nothin to say. But I have to mention it. lol I'm not big on award shows anymore, but I like to see what everyone wore splashed all over E! in the days following. Kristin Chenoworth looked great in silver sparkly number (note to self: join gym after baby is born...), Olivia Wilde was phenominol...and I can't remember what else I liked. :)

So the latest according to MSN, is Kate Gosselin MAY be a part of Paula Deen's show after all- but looks like we'll be waiting until Fall 2010. Sweet, because honestly, I don't think J&K+8 will go on past that. I love it, and I wish it would, but I don't see it. Anyway, tonights new episode was "Farm to Table" where they visited an organic farm, played family games. A good-old fashioned episode, which ended when Kate's custody ended. BUT- it did give me a chance to explain to my son that not all mommies & daddies live together, and all that garbage that you really don't want to talk to your kids about. Man, it's not even my life, so I can imagine how Kate felt REALLY explaining that to them. Well, no I can't actually. No one can unless they've done it.

So more drama in another of my fav. tv families...Khloe Kardashian getting married? Say WHAAA? lol IF this is true, I wish her and her new hubby the best and (white-elephant-in-the- room) hope it works out to a long and happy life together!

Due to my first comment posted (what a milestone), I DO feel the need to say, that this is not SOLELY a J&K blog...it's a mommy blog. Specifically, THIS mommy's blog. So THIS mommy says & feels what she wants, about whatever she wants. I have NOT staked this out with some neon sign that says "HATE ON JON G HERE --->", but I do feel he does this on his own. I do try to remain logical (as noted, I did NOT side with those saying Jon was an unfit father for taking the dogs away in front of the kids...ahem, just that he was an ass for it). Anyway, my purpose is not to attract anyone to BASH, my purpose is to LAUGH, and roll my eyes, and allow me to get my thoughts out on whatever, if for only 5 min. a day, because SOMETIMES that's all a mommy needs!

Jon's an A-Hole, Kate did G8, and I think the demons have left my childs body...whew!

Okay, I just commented on all of this on another blog but here we go: short and sweet: maybe...

1. Jon dramatically had the dogs carted off in front of the kids. Unfit to be a parent based on this event alone? No. Nominee for Father-of-the Year? No. But sleeping with the babysitter might get him thismuch closer to the title. Oh, snap....nope...no it won't. But keep trying Jon, the world is watching-and sadly loving- you making an arse out of your self at LEAST weekly. I'm sure Cara & Mady's little friends at school have seen the supermarket tabloids. Way to go Jerkoff.

2. Kate did awesome on the View. Whoopi acted like an idiot, constantly repeating the same stupid question over and over. Kate admitted she was wrong in going over there, did Whoopi NOT hear that? Get on with it. Geez.

3. My son has been a sweet little thing all day. However, we have yet to go uptown to the Canal Days Festival to pick up dinners, which is a mini-fair on Main Street here in America's Friendliest City, for those who do not know (and is the highlight if every Delphos resident each year). Mind you, there are rides, and games, and other things for me to waste valuable money on, so *here's to it being a positive experience for everyone involved*!!!

4. Oh- but my son did learn how to gag himself today and tried to make himself vomit at the sitter's when he didn't want to eat lunch. :) Just lovely.

Jordan won Big Brother, Biggest Loser starts, and this mom is losing her mind!!

Sorry it's been a couple days...not a whole lot to comment on. I was really happy Jordan won Big Brother, and not that little snake Natalie. Agh. Natalie was so annoying and stupid, she looked into the air at literally nothing every.time.she.talked. Just the sound of her voice annoyed me. She makes my skin crawl.

The Biggest Loser also started this week, another of my fav's. There's a lady whose husband, and 2 kids were killed in a car accident...horrible story. So I am pulling for her, and I'm sure most of America is.

And I am losing my mind because something horrific has inhabited my dear sweet son's body and taken control. And he's so sneaky about it, because when others are around i.e. my husband, he's just a happy little boy, no problems, no worries. As soon as we are alone, the monster comes out and immediately does something he knows he shouldn't, I tell him no or deal with whatever it is, and he begins ABUSING his poor, baby carrying, mother...and by abuse I mean, furiously slapping me in the face, and once even threw a hotwheels car in my face (apparently, the worst 98 cents I ever spent) and then telling me I am various things such as a poop-head, baby or stupid-head. I beg to differ. I have not had poop on my head since he was about 2 months old and had explosive diarrhea (true story), I'm obviously NOT a baby, I only MAKE them, and I cannot be a stupid-head, because stupid-heads do not graduate college.

Basically, all the precautions I have taken to NOT ruin my child's life thus far, have blown up in my face. I decided he needed a sibling, he seemingly does not, and I am questioning this decision myself at this point; I decided it would better for our family to take him from his daycare, to a babysitter, which he has been good for the sitter, he's told me he doesn't want new friends, he wants his old friends. He also does not understand that if he wants Christmas presents, he will go to the sitter, rather than daycare, lol. What have I done that is SO BAD??

I will keep you informed on how the exorcism goes. Because I'm pretty that's what needs done.

Kate on The View...Kanye makes an ass of himself...What a day...

So, I just watched todays' episode of The View, and Kate Gosselin looked AMAZING! She looked like she belonged there, and she has said in the past she'd like a talk show...future co-hosting gig?? Who knows, but she did good too. She gave up about as much personal info as I thought...about nothing! She says she will continue to take the high road...which is the best road to take Kate...someone's got to in this mess. But I LOVED when Sherry asked "What do you think about him bringing THAT GIRL around your kids???"

Onto Jackass-of-theYear, Kanye West. Agh what a douche. For anyone who hasn't heard, Taylor Swift beat Beyonce for video of the year at the VMA'S last night, and before Taylor could barely sueak out "This is amazing!", things quickly became un-amazing when Kanye jumped on stage and said he was happy for Taylor, but Beyonce made one of the best videos of all time, or some dumb shit. The camera went to Beyonce who totally had a look on her face which looked like she was thinking "I don't want this jack ass defending me...WTF??" BUT Beyonce, won later for something else (I don't even know, I didn't watch it, haven't since about 11th grade, but I saw the clip and heard the audio on the radio this morning) and told everyone she remembers what it was like being 17 and up for her first VMA award, and asked Taylor to come up and have her moment. How sweet. Kudos to Beyonce and Taylor, shame on you Kanye...good music (to some) will only get you so far. And for the record, I don't think Kanye is a musical genius like everyone else seems to think.

Oh update: apparently Kanye blogged he was sorry so it's all good then. Whatev.

Other than that, not too much else to comment on. There's the hermaphadite runner- poor girl. What a way to find that out. Apparently she is, or was, on suicide watch, so pray for that girl. How awful for something so personal to be told world wide before you even have time to digest the news. And a missing girl from Yale, her body was possibly found in a wall in a lab at Yale. How awful, pray for her family, and justice for their daughter/sister/friend.

Start the Jon & Kate discussion here!!

I am an dedicated Jon & Kate watcher, and a fan of Kate's...I DO think Jon has lost his damn mind, and I also think Kate had every reason to be demanding with Jon during their marriage- as evidenced by his recent behaviors.

The latest: Radar Online's pictures of Jon & Hailey kissing, and Jon told Kate he was bringing Hailey home to meet the kids, and Kate cried. I find it hysterical that at the end of last season, Jon did not want to be in the spotlight anymore, didn't want cameras around, just wanted a normal life...but how many times has he stood at his fence since then and talked to & made videos for the paparazzi?? And the kissing pictures- look totally staged, like they did it for the paparazzi. How disgusting. And his hissy fit he threw on his interview last week for abc? Agh. Lovely, Jon, just lovely. A divorce is hard enough on kids, let's make sure they know you despise their mother. Nothing like salt in a wound...

Just call me Ape...

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am outnumbered in my household. By my husband, my son, and even my cat. (Still don't know what baby #2 is...whether I'll have another player on my team or if I should forfeit the game...) and I say ALL. THE. TIME. that I totally picture myself as Ape; Bam Margera's mom. Ok, so maybe not that bad (Oh sweet Jesus, I pray not that bad...) But one day, I can guarantee, I'll be hiding in a corner while my son(s) and possibly even my husband attack me with pillows- and I am very sensitive about anyone touching my head, except for getting my hair done. Other than that, the head is off limits. But that's besides the point.

As a mom, I try really hard to allow my 3 year old to just be a 3 year old. I'm really relaxed about certain things. If no one's getting hurt, I pretty much won't have a problem with it. But sometimes this makes me look-and feel- pretty pitiful.

Case & point: I had a dr's appt this week, and had no other option but to bring my son, which I've never taken him there with me. It's just easier to go by myself. Anyway, I didn't have a sitter so I figured one time won't kill me, I'll just take him. He actually did well, but we had one minor mishap. So we're sitting there waiting for the Dr to come in and he says "Mama I have to go potty..." so we walk out the door, I stop at the nurses station to let them know where I'll be, in case the Dr came in, and take him into the bathroom. Now, my dear sweet little boy just got potty trained this summer and is just now getting into the standing up when he pees thing. Well, their toilet is about 2 inches higher than ours at home, and it had an elongated bowl which he refused to sit on. So he stands there, and the poor kid had no chance of making it into the bowl, since it was so tall, he proceeds to pee- straight into the corner of the room. In my horror, I yell "Point it down! Point it down!" and he says "What? I can't!" and swings it to the left, and pees across the toilet seat & lid and nails the other wall. At this point, there are puddles of pee on the floor and someone begins to knock. I don't even knwo what i said, just something to indicate that someone was in there, and he finishes peeing on the floor. Not a drop made in into the toilet.

So like I said, I'm pretty laid back, and I'm laughing as I grabbing fistfulls of papertowels to soak up the puddles and wipe the walls as fast as possible. I finish my "cleaning", get us both washed up and open the door to go out. Now there are 3 people in line.

I stop at the nurses station again where our nurse was standing, my Dr was sitting, and a few others. And this is what I said "Ummm this is really embarassing, but he just peed all over bathroom walls & floor, and I cleaned up what I could, but it's gonna need mopped and some disinfectant...and it smells." My Dr was the first one to crack up laughing (thats why I love her) and everyone else did too. And of course they were nice and said they'd take care of it. In the meantime, the next person in line had gone in, and I felt sorry for her, because it really did smell.

So, my funny thing today: I asked Austin what he wanted for lunch, and he says "Spagetti-Os but not hot ones, only cold ones." and I said "You want cold spagetti-o's?" and he nodded. And I looked at him like he had just asked if he could eat his own poop and I said "That's DISGUSTING." And then laughed at myself, for being so horrified at the thought of cold spagetti-o's, when clearly, there are worse things in the world. And that's when I decided to blog... :)

I finally did it!!

Well folks and fans, here it is: the long awaited BLOG. Many of you liked to read my ranting myspace blogs of a few years ago, that I've since deleted...ahem...and others have asked me to blog about anything from celebrity gossip, to waitressing for 5 years and the effect it has on my, um, social skills...whatever. It's probably going to be a compilation of many things that strike my interest...being a mom and the things that happen to me because of it (lol), celebrity gossip, my job cleaning teeth, and a few other hot topics right now: Jon & Kate + 8 and maybe even college football...

So feel free to comment, in fact, I insist on it, but please be respectful of others opinions. That's all I ask. I'll try to post one topic at a time, instead of one long post, for everyone to comment on...so let the blogging begin... :)